The Painting

 I've been thinking a lot about "down the road".  I mean, for instance, I imagine that sometime in my future, I will have to sell my house and downsize into an apartment, possible "independent living" in one of those senior apartments, maybe even assisted living.  I may not have the "luxury" of dying here like I supposed I would do.  And that takes me to the thoughts of what would I absolutely want to keep and what could I part with?  After all, I have a lifetime of accumulated "stuff".  Which is one of the reasons I have been making it a point to periodically go through closets and drawers and contemplate whether I really want to deal with this thing I haven't needed or used when that time comes.  What a chore that would be!  Mom had diluted her possessions down to what would fit in a tiny 400 SF apartment, and it was still a lot to deal with when she came here.  She ended up giving all of her furniture to Liane, whose daughter was getting ready to move into a place of her own, and there were still drawers of kitchen utensils I didn't need, closets of blankets, bedding, towels and on and on.  All she brought here was her bedroom set and some of her prized possessions... jewelry, favorite wall hangings, clothes.  I have a whole houseful to deal with!

Well, this line of thought brought me to Mom's painting.  She actually gave that to me when she moved out of her house.  I figure Merry will take it when I'm gone, but what after that?  Would the either of Merry's boys want it?  So I decided to write a note and securely attach it to the back of the painting.  I hate the thought of something with such meaning to end up in a dumpster.  That may still happen, but with a little luck, it will still be around in a hundred (or more) years in the hands of a romantic soul touched by it's story.  Here is the note I've composed to attach to it the next time I take it down to clean behind it:

 

The Story Behind The Painting                       August, 2024

    When I was in my late forties, my mother told me that she wanted me to have this painting when she passed because it had sentimental value for her.  I can’t really remember when it showed up on her wall, and I don’t ever remember asking about it.  I guess I always assumed it was one of those original paintings one gets at those “starving artist” shows that come around because Mom wasn’t the type to spend a lot of money on stuff like that.  Of course, she knew she had to now explain its “sentimental” value… That makes this story is second-hand, and since Mom passed in 2023, I’m now wishing she was here to fill in some of the details…

     My parents divorced in 1974 and we moved from our grand-parents’ farm (where I grew up with my brother and sister) to Harlan, Iowa.  Mom chose Harlan because it was a central location to her work, which was selling insurance and annuities to (mostly) school teachers.  Mom was only 32 when they divorced and she dated discretely.  By the time she started dating, I was 16, and Wes and Merry were both younger and we didn’t really meet many of these men and didn’t know about most of them until we were adults.  Which is why I couldn’t tell you exactly when this was painted, but it had to be between 1975 and 1978. 

     Mom met an art teacher who she apparently started to date and became quite close to.  From her description, they were getting close enough to talk about introducing him to us kids and discussing the possibility of marriage when he was tragically killed in a car accident.  Looking back, I realize that this means my mother was secretly grieving a terrible loss as we never knew about this…

     Apparently some time later, Mom was contacted by another art teacher – from the same school?  I’m not sure, but one who apparently was fairly close to her art teacher beau because he knew about the painting.  Her beau had started this painting to give to her and the accident occurred before he finished it.  This other art teacher had taken it upon himself to finish the painting, professionally frame it and present it to her.  I can only imagine the overwhelming feeling of gratitude to the friend who finished it, sadness at what might have been, and pain in having to hide her grief from us.  I don’t remember seeing the painting back then and I suspect that she probably put it away at the time.  Perhaps to a small degree to not have to explain it to us, but probably more because seeing it daily would exacerbate her grief.  What can be a painful reminder after a tragic loss often, after time has passed, becomes a poignant reminder of a beautiful time.

     When Mom moved out of her house to Merry’s when she was in her mid-70’s, she gave me the painting.  I didn’t really have anywhere to put it at the time, so I stored it.  In 2021, my husband passed away and in March 2022, Mom came to live with me.  It was clear that she was “winding down”.  I had spent 6 months renovating the house, turning what was once my husband’s “man cave” into a bright, beautiful “lady cave” where Mom took up residence.  That summer, I had the living room and dining room painted and found the perfect spot for The Painting – a focal spot on the living room wall so that Mom could be reminded of all the wonderful years, all the precious relationships, all the joy of her life.  She passed away about 9 months later, right here at home, after a valiant fight with cancer 3 days after her 82^nd birthday.   And now, it is my reminder of the amazing life she led and of her special place in my heart.

     So to anyone who acquires this painting in the future, please keep this note with it so that the story lives on because you having it means that everyone who knew and loved my mother is gone…

 

How I wish I had more details.  What was his name?  Where did he live?  Did he have children?  If he did, it could be a wonderful thing to leave it to them... I mean, if he was anywhere near Mom's age, his children would have been pretty young when he died.  It could be quite a special thing for them to have it.  I don't think there's anyone left who may have been aware of the relationship.  Aunt Judy probably knew about it, but I can't image she would remember his name.  I should probably ask, just in case she does...

But that's it for today.  Just wanted to pop in and get this down while it was in my head...