A good week...

 This past week was pretty darn good on all fronts.  But I'll first go back to the end of last week.  Erica (from work) called me on Thursday (the 16th) to see if I'd be willing to go with a group to Waterloo on Friday.  I've never been to Waterloo and even though there was a packer-van involved (which we all despise!), I said yes.  It's a 4 hour drive over and my GPS (which I turned on at Des Moines) zig-zagged me through farm country.  Sounds like everyone else went straight up the interstate to highway 20, which is more direct.  But the universe (and apparently my GPS) knows I love driving through rural areas and it was a beautiful drive.  And I got I think I was 5th (of 11) to arrive, so it's not like it took me longer.  But the ride back was utter MISERY.  Packer vans are made for 15 people... I should say a driver, a passenger and 13 children, because the seats are narrow, the seatbelts are terribly uncomfortable, and space between rows is negligible.  So I ended up in the 3rd row with my knees crammed against the seat in front of me and by the time we got back, my legs and hips and back were all screaming at me.  My team's lead driver talked to Dan (who I've worked with a lot and consider a friend) before we left and told him to try to keep the front seat for me because of my back/hip issues, but Dan does not have a controntational bone in his body, so I'm sure when the first guy got there and jumped in the front, he wouldn't have the nerve to say, "Hey, let's save this spot for Denise."  And by the time I got there, Pete was in row 2 (which is the next best thing to the front as it has more leg room)... Pete is the guy that was such an asshole with me that I left that group, and I did not want to be stuck next to him for 4 hours.  So... I won't let them talk me into that ever again!  If they ask again, I'll say I'd be happy to make a long trip IF we're coming back in a minivan, NOT a packer-van!

So the rest of that weekend was pretty miserable in the soreness department.  In fact, I was still sore on Tuesday - sore enough I considered bowing out of work, but I got through the day.

Monday was my annual checkup with my doc and a mammogram... Hate the poking and the squishing, but it brought on all good news.  My labs were great - my A1C is down to UNDER 5!!!  This Ozempic is doing a great job!  Of course, I'm sure I can take some credit with my persistence in keeping my carbs down to 100 a day.  All my other labs looked good, though she still kvetched about my cholesterol, which IMO was very good at 227.  I know - they want it under 200, but my health guru says those standards is what had brought on such a high incidence is alzheimers and dementia.  So I do not aspire to under 200.  I have told her I'd rather drop dead of a heart attack than develop dementia!  But my "good" cholesterol is low - I asked what I could do to raise that, and she said "exercise".  Oh great - the one thing I can't do because of my back/hip/arthritis! Well, I have seen improvement in that, so maybe I'm moving toward a time when I can "get moving" more...

Anyway, the mammogram was also good.  And then on Friday, I had my 5-year exam with the oncologist - they've checked once a year since my uterine cancer/hysterectomy back in 2021.  And all is well, which means I don't have to ever go back unless I experience symptoms!  I said, "I really like you doc, but I hope I never see you again!"

Wednesday was Mom's birthday.  Some might be sad, but I just talked to her a lot that day (more than usual) and it felt like a good day.  Then yesterday was the anniversary of the day she passed, which also might be a sad day for many, but Merry and I got together for lunch, which was kind of nice... I love Merry to death, but it seems like our conversations are pretty one-sided.  She gets going about her friend Chris or how much money they win when they gamble, or a myriad of other things in her life and my side of the conversation is a lot of "uh-huhs" as she goes on and on.  Nary a question about what's happening with me.  I was looking forward to sharing my good health news, and I had to wait for her to shut up and take a mouth full of her sandwich to interject, and we quickly got back to her life.  I know she doesn't have a lot of friends, and I try to keep that in mind.  I imagine by the time we get together a couple times a month, she has a lot to get out! 

But the best part of the day was as I was leaving... I was thinking about Mom, wishing we had done more reminiscing about old times, and as I pulled out of the parking lot, there was a car in front of me, license plate number ending in 22 (Mom's birthday was 4/22/41).  I smiled because it felt like a little "howdy-do".  As I was getting in line to turn onto the interstate, I came up behind an SUV, the 3 numbers on it were 441.  Now THAT felt like a real "howdy-do"!  Lost sight of that one when I passed it on the interstate, and then as I'm coming onto 80 from 75, this jerk in a sedan in the left (disappearing) lane squeezed into the tiny space between me and the guy in front of me who was going awfully slow and as I'm cussing under my breath, I look down and his plate number is also 441!!  Ok, Mom, I see it!  I may not have noticed it if he hadn't been a jerk, so thank you for being a jerk, dude!  LOL...

This week, I've also been working a little on my outside stuff.  I found someone on FB to come do my yard cleanup.  I chose him because he said he wanted to help his daughter (12) start a yard cleanup business, something she can do to make some money.  I liked the sound of that and they did a decent job, only charged me $100 (a lot better than the $430 the pro company wanted!!!)  So I'm sprucing up around the generator - it became a weed patch last year.   They didn't do much around that generator, so I cleaned it up good and I'm putting down some edging and mulch.  I'm pretty impressed with what I've been able to do with my back as it is!  So I think this is evidence that it IS getting better!  Mind you, I work in short spurts, but it's getting done... BY ME!

I also got a decent quote for insurance - home and auto - that's going to save me almost $1000 a year.  I decided to go ahead and get it started rather than waiting until my old policy comes up for renewal in July.  I opted for a May 1 start date, and that gives us some time to look it over and make sure it's fine.  I just sent in photos for what they call a "self-survey".  We'll see if they come back and make a fuss about my greenhouse.  I suppose it could change my premiums.  But the auto was the real shocker.  It was over 40% cheaper than AAA, same coverage!  The HO was only about $370 cheaper.  AAA had the house covered for a ridiculous $393,000!  State Farm will insure it for $293,000 which is closer to its actual value.  Of course, they tell you "well, that's what it would cost to rebuild."  But, as I tell them, I don't WANT a new house... I like old houses, so I would just take the money and go buy another old house.  It's just a way to get more of our money!

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The above was written a month ago (end of April) and I apparently intended to write more or simply forgot to publish it.  So now we're at the end of May.  It's hard to believe as this month FLEW by!  I went ahead and changed my insurance was of May 1st and other than my awful back issues, it's been a decent month...

I had a fun encounter that I'll relate here to give me a smile in the future when these things stop happening... I was at the gas station a week or so ago, getting gas in a packer van that I was to drive to Des Moines. As I got out of the van, there was a youngish guy in front of me getting gas in his SUV who gave me a big smile. I smiled back and went about my business of getting gas. The gas tank on packer van is right next to the door which is kind of a pain in the ass. You need to open the door to get the little flap open to reveal the neck where the gas goes in. I had closed the door behind me so I opened it and got that little flap open and started putting gas in. Looked up and the young guy said, "Well they put that awfully close to the door don't they!" and laughed. I laughed too, a little nervously. It felt like this guy was being a little flirty. But I brushed off that feeling, figuring I probably look like his mom or something! LOL. He was probably in his late 30s or early 40s so that would be about right. Anyway, after I got an iced tea for the trip, I sat in the van for a few minutes to connect my phone so that I could listen to my playlist on the way over. (I always do this... makes the trip go by faster and I don't have to be changing stations as I drive out of range...) I looked up and he was standing outside of the van waiting for me to look up and he gave me a big smile. It seems really clear that this guy was actually flirting with me! It was a feel-good moment!  Of course, I'm wise enough to know that he didn't get close enough to me to see just how old I am.. I do look younger than I am, but I still don't look anywhere young enough to be that appealing to a guy his age! But admittedly, it felt good even knowing that! Oh don't get me wrong, I get plenty of flirting from old guys, and that feels good too. But there's something about a flirty, younger, nice looking guy that feels really great! Of course, give me some time to think about it and by the end of the day my logical mind told me that he probably thought hey look, an older woman who might have some money.. maybe an easy mark! Damn my logic! LOL

I'm trying to make it a point to get these kinds of things into my blog because someday, this may be the way to retrieve memories.  I know everyone starts to feel a little "forgetful" as they age, but I have moments when it kind of worries me.  Those times when I can't find a word - it's right there, but I can't quite get it out.  And then I have other "senior moments".  For example, awhile back, I spent some time cutting sacks down - I take paper grocery sacks and cut them so that they're perfect for putting plants in, so about 6" high.  We use them at the farmer's market when someone buys more than one plant.  Anyway, I distinctly remember putting a rubber band around them and putting them **SOMEWHERE**.  A few weeks later, I did some more and do you think I can find the first batch I did?  Hell NO.  Where the f*ck did I put them?  I have turned this house upside down looking for them!  So frustrating!  Anyway, my point is that if I end up in some nursing home with memory issues, I can come back and read my blog (which I believe is going on about 20 years now!) and maybe jog my memory about specific events/experiences.  

I've been trying to spend time reading "Abrahamisms".  It helps me keep a positive perspective, which really comes pretty naturally for me, but with all the back/hip pain I've had for so long, it starts to wear me down.  I need the reminder that we are the master of our minds and bodies, and everything can be made better by controlling our thoughts.

So something I read yesterday reminded me of a thought process I had some years ago brought on by one of Abraham's analogies.  Abraham has a few regarding keeping your vibration high and one of my favorites is about turning and allowing yourself to go downstream.  Humans tend to fight the flow, so to speak.  We are told from a young age that you have to "work hard" and "beat the odds" or "fight for what you want."  All very "upstream" concepts.  Success isn't about hard work, it's about allowing.  Turning downstream and letting it happen.  This concept brought to mind the old song "row, row, row your boat" and when I recited it, it was clear to me that someone very familiar with the Law of Attraction and the art of allowing wrote that song!  Think about it...

Row, row, row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

Life it but a dream

When you're going downstream, you really don't need to row per say, but the oars are to keep you from running aground (keep you on track) as you allow the flow of good things.  Abraham sums up our goal in coming here so succinctly - seek joy, get happy... that's it!  So... "merrily" certainly points in that direction!  And the last line, I think, states what I see as the obvious in the whole concept of afterlife and reincarnation.  "Life is but a dream."  We (meaning Mom & I) came to learn the concepts of Abraham a few years after I saw the first "Matrix" movie, and the more I learned, the more it felt like THIS is the matrix.  The "real" me (us)... we're in "Source" and these bodies are an extension of the real us.  Living a human life for joy, for experience that will enhance the real us.  I'm trying to think of a better word than "real", because it's not that we aren't real here in these bodies.  I'll have to think about that...

Tuesday (the day after Memorial Day), I had a dentist appointment.  I was gone an hour and when I got back, I found a broken pane of glass in my greenhouse!  It was one of the bottom panes, about 72" x 20", and it was all crackled and there was an obvious impact point.  I noticed the neighbor's lawn was freshly mowed, so I assume what happened is the mower kicked up a rock.  I haven't had a chance to tell them (they moved in a couple months ago) that I have my lawn guys mow along their house, so sent them a text about it.  This is going to be an expensive "fix"... first bid was $855!  I about fainted!  Second bid was $650.  I'm waiting on one last bid, then it's going to take a couple weeks as they have to order the glass.  What a freakin' hassle!

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Time to finish this up!  I spent the weekend working on the cactus club newsletter.  I've been the editor for nearly 20 years now, and this month was the first time I've used a "rerun" - I put an article in that I used in 2012.  I wasn't feeling particularly good this weekend and just didn't have the enthusiasm to figure out something new to put in there.  I think it turned out ok, though.  I wonder if I can include a PDF here?  I've never tried!...

June RC Newsletter

Figured out how to do it!  I added it to my Google drive and linked it.  I need to get in there and upload all of them.  I've got 2007 through 2022 uploaded but have been remiss in uploading since then.  The purpose of doing so was to give access to the archives to new members, but I often forget to give out the link.  I need to be more diligent about that...

I woke in the middle of the night wondering about my old chiropractor.  Last fall, I had some bad neck issues going on and went to his office to find a note on the door that said it was "temporarily closed due to a family emergency."  I tried to call and the number was disconnected, which made me thing this seems more than temporary.  I found a chiropractor who is open 5 days a week - I'm sure I detailed my time with her, so I won't go into that, but later on (I looked it up... Jan. 3rd) I stopped in again with that neck issue and to my surprise, it was a young oriental guy running the practice!  Came to find out that Dr. Gerdtz (Randy) had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had handed the business over to this new doc. Wow... that stunned me.  Randy, such a healthy, awesomely wonderful man and only 56 or 57...

So when I woke at about 6:00, I grabbed my phone and googled him.  He apparently passed away only 3 days after that visit.  It breaks my heart.  He had such a gentle soul... kind, always so positive.  Not surprisingly, his obit was very moving... Obit

And just so I don't end this on a sad note, a couple photos.  This is my Hoya skinneriana, formerly known as 'Dee's Big One'...

And this is a cute little ice plants commonly called "The Pickle Plant", botanically it's Delosperma echinatum.  It gets the ittiest-bittiest yellow flowers!

And with that, I'm going to get this published.  I hope to have more photos to share soon...

More signs... and PLANTS!

 I'm already done with my 2 days this week.  They called me Monday and we went to Des Moines (shock!)  Then it snowed overnight and though the streets looked perfectly fine here in Omaha (I think we got a couple inches, but the pavement was warm enough it didn't really stick...), but they were talking about a swatch in Iowa, along our route to DM, that got 3-5 inches and those hills can be a real bitch when the wind blows the snow over the road.  They had called me Tuesday, and I got up "as if" I would go to work and got ready, all the while debating on whether I would go or not - if they sent us to DM, would I want to go and risk slippy-sliding through that swatch??  About the time that I really needed to make up my mind, Erica called and asked if I'd be willing to work the downtown branch and I'm like, "I can do that!"  So I did... and it was fine, except for the horrendous street work going on downtown.  OMG, e-v-e-r-y...s-i-n-g-l-e...s-t-r-e-e-t... is down to one lane.  I am NOT exagerating!  It must be a freaking nightmare during rush hour!  Between sewer reworking (which they've been doing all over the old part of town) and what they have to do to prep for the coming street cars, it's a holy mess.  

Anyway, so I have the next several days off and today, I got my nails done.  So while I was out that way, I decided I would stop and pick up a Culvers chicken cashew salad for lunch (one of my favorites and a good choice for my diet...)  I pull into the parking lot at about 10:55 and decided to pull into a spot and check their menu... it's been a while since I had Culvers (none in my part of town) and I wanted to make sure they still had that salad.  And I figured maybe the drive thru didn't open 'til 11:00 anyway, so I sat there a few minutes.  When I was done perusing their menu, I pulled into the drive thru and someone had slipped in ahead of me.  I got to the window and ordered, and if you've been to a Culvers DT, you know they put a little sticky-note on your rear view mirror with a number and you pull ahead and park and wait for them to bring it out to you.  So guess what the number was?...

The number Mark sends me most often.  (There are 5 numbers I see consistently that I give him credit for... 54 is his birth year, 58 is my birth year, 73 is his grad year, 77 is my grad year, 87 is the year we bought the house, and 89 is the year we married.  But 77 is the one I see so often, it is uncanny!)  Now, if I had gone straight into the DT when I got there, my number would have been 76, so... Yep, I think they have a way...

So when they guy came out with my lunch I asked if I could keep the number and of course he said yes and I put it there on my dash to remind me of how skilled they are at sending these signs.  And as I'm driving down 96th Street with a big smile on my face, telling Mark how good he's gotten at this, I came up to a stop light behind a white Ford pickup with a license plate ending in 077.  My smile got bigger.  "Now you're just showing off!"

I'm starting to see new growth on a lot of my Hoyas and some other plants as well.  I found one budding up the other day.  I've lost the tag so not sure which species it is, but I suspect it's a form of parasitica...

There's a second peduncle a little higher.  I will get a photo when they open.

Today has turned into a beautiful day! It's hard to believe that yesterday was cold and blustery and there was snow on the ground until late afternoon! There's no sign of winter today. It's in the mid 70s, breezy. I've got the front door open and a couple of other windows to let the fresh air in. But it's going to be a bit of a yo-yo this week. Colder tomorrow, chance of rain. But that's okay. We can use the moisture and with cooler temps, it will get absorbed nicely by the plants that need it so badly, and it won't just evaporate like it does in high temps.

I've placed a few orders over the last few months for Haworthias. I've decided I won't buy any more Hoyas and will limit myself to smaller, slower growing succulents in the future. I'm going to do a lot of cleaning house of plants that don't light my fire this year. In other words, if it isn't "hell yes!", then it's "hell no!" That's one of my favorite phrases! You get to a certain age, and you don't want to waste your time doing things that don't particularly excite you! So that's been my mantra for the last few years. 

Anyway, back to the Haworthias... here are photos of several that I've acquired over the winter. These aren't all of them, but a good representation. These are the ones that have settled in nicely and look really great. A few that I haven't had very long need a little bit of time to plump back up so they will look their best, so I will post pictures of those later.

Some fantastic cultivars!  The one called "Red Moon"... I guess I liked it so much that I ended up ordering it twice!!  So now I have two of those.  LOL!

I kind of feel like I have crossed a threshold and I'm feeling much better. Not that I ever felt bad, mind you. I've always felt pretty good, but the pain that I was experiencing in my back and hip is quite a bit better. I'm not feeling that sharp awful pain in my groin area that came from my back. They tell me that's a nerve, so I think the decompression has helped that. I'm still a gimp, but I'm feeling like there's a real possibility that that might eventually be able to take a real walk like a real person! Can I really hope that I could be gimp free someday? I'm starting to feel like it might be possible!

Before I end this today, I wanted to show some pics of very impressive leaves.  First is a speckled clone of Hoya 'Mathilde'...

And here is Hoya 'Sunrise' that gets so beautifully patterned under the grow lights...

It blooms pretty easy, too, but the leaves really outshine the flowers!  This is Hoya quinquenervia, and it gets some outstanding leaves under the lights as well!

This one is Sinningia bullata that I got from Karin in the cactus club a couple years ago.  It develops a gorgeous caudex and has the most un-succulent looking leaves that emerge from the caudex.  It got overly dry this winter and dropped all its leaves and when I cut it back, new leaves started popping almost immediately.  So these are the baby leaves, and it's sharing its pot with the dreaded "Mother of Thousands" Kalanchoe.  I just couldn't bear to pull them, though I probably will this summer.  And I will move this up to a bigger pot this summer as well...

And last, I wanted to share the dish garden I created at the March Des Moines club meeting.  I used this pot I've had in the garage for awhile - I think it turned out really nice!

That's it for today!

Long time...

Wow, looks like my last post was over 4 months ago!  I guess going back to work, even though only 2 days a week, has kept me occupied!  That's a good thing.  It's kept me from focusing so much on my back/hip pain.  And thankfully, that has gotten better.  I think some of that is because I've been distracted by work.  I noticed immediately that when I was at work, I didn't hurt as much.  Abraham says focus amplifies - whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.  I'm convinced!  On my work days, I feel better.  When I'm home all day, I notice all the little aches and pains.  I think this is why people decline once retired...

Anyway, I am better.  I'm now done with the intense decompression therapy that I was doing 2x a week.  The improvement has been soooo slow, and back and forth... that it has been hard to see the progress.  I would have one "good" day (which means less pain, not no pain) here and there.  Then it became a little more frequent, like maybe 2 "good" days in a week.  These good days have gotten more frequent, and now I have more of those than "bad" days (and "bad" days are not as bad as they were 6 months ago...)  And the pain I'm having now, I believe, is more about weakness from lack of use than whatever it was before.  I think (I should say Dr. Corey believes, so I'm convinced) that it is/was a pinched nerve, and (hopefully) the decompression has relieved that.  So now I'm going every 2 weeks for "maintenance".  Expensive, but doable.  

I also added soft-wave therapy a few weeks ago.  I'm sure that has something to do with the improvement as well.  I've got 3 more treatments of that. Here is how google defines soft-wave... 

SoftWave Therapy is a non-invasive, regenerative treatment that uses broad-focused acoustic shockwaves to stimulate tissue healing, reduce pain and improve mobility. 

As it has been explained to me, the waves draw blood flow into the area (which induces healing) and causes the body to produce stem cells that also heal.  As much time and money as I've committed to this, I SHOULD be feeling better!  And I can honestly say that for the first time in a long, long time, I feel real hope that maybe, just maybe, I have a gimp-free future coming!  My next commitment needs to be about building my strength and repairing those weakened muscles.

Now, on to other things!  The winter has been... well, not bad.  More warm days that normal, seems like.  A lot of back-and-forth.  Warm spells followed by cold spells.  This weekend, we had a little snow storm that looked rather blizzard-ish, but really didn't amount to much snow.  But the wind blew like a mother!  I don't think it was quite as bad as they thought it would be, but boy did it HOWL.  It got terribly cold overnight - it was 8 degrees this morning with a wind chill in the negative teens.  The GH and kitchen were sooo cold!  Probably down into the 50s.  Today, it's sunny and will get to 25, but by Friday, the forecast says it will be in the mid-80s!!!  Wow...

I've lost a lot of plants this winter.  My pain kept me from giving them the care they really needed, so I've had losses.  This is the kind of thing that shows you which ones are really tough and which ones... not so much.  And it's fine.  I've decided to see it as a blessing in disguise.  I'm getting older and it's getting harder to keep up.  It's ok to thin the herd, tune in on what I really want to keep.  Less is more.  I'd like to spend more time enjoying them, maybe a little less time watering and grooming them.  I'm not going to invest in any more fussy plants. I won't say "no more Hoyas", but I think I'm kind of "over" my obsession with them.  So I'm going to focus more on my "little" plants... Haworthias and small succs.  Any Hoyas that aren't SPECTACULAR will be whacked back and set on the back porch.  If they come back by fall gloriously, great.  If not, into the trash bin they go!

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A couple weeks ago, Laurie and I went over to Lincoln where Kevin, our favorite psychic, spent the day at a "new age" store called Euphoria.  He was doing sessions for $40/15 minutes and we sat with him for half an hour.  It was, as usual, amazing!  Both Mark and Mom came through.  He said they sit on the front porch "smoking" and watching me come and go.  Of course, they both spent so much time out there smoking...  And of course we all know they don't really "smoke" in the afterlife, but it's a good way for them to show him what's familiar to me.  I get mostly the same messages each time, and that's ok... it's just very comforting to know they're here.  Laurie heard from her dad, a message she really needed to hear telling her she needs to limit her contact with her daughter, who treats her like shit.  I hope she listens...

And this last week, I had so many messages from all of them... Mark, Mom, Wes, and even Thelma!!!  So many that I'm starting to worry they're trying to warn me about something.  Wed. was the first day - I was out and about and I kept seeing the numbers they often show me.  Over and over.  So many in such a short time that I thought "I need to be wary of something, but what?"  And I paid careful attention all the way home with no close calls.  But then I got home and as I was walking to the house, I tripped and went careening into the porch shelf right by the mailbox!!  I didn't fall, but it was close!  There was another moment a bit later when I was a little... well, not exactly dizzy, but I faltered just a bit when I was walking.  Now mind you, my footing is unstable because of my back and these things can happen when we're not operating at 100%.  But I thought maybe the message is to be mindful...

Like that wasn't enough, I worked on Thurs. and while in Des Moines with my chase driver Pat, I saw a license plate with 777.  I pointed it out to Pat and explained that triple numbers are a message from my brother.  And 7s are my "favorite" numbers, so it was kind of an extra "feel good" message.  Pat smirked a bit, which is typical for a lot of people, especially religious people who have a more traditional view of what happens after death.  So we headed back to Omaha and it wasn't 20 minutes later we come up behind a car with... 777 again!  I pointed it out and Pat just said "HUH!"  I saw this happen once before.  I get plenty of triple numbers, but rarely do I get the same two in a row.  (Once I was sitting at a stop light behind a car with triple 7s and a truck came around the corner with triple 7s!  It was one of those real attention-getters!!)  So maybe another half our down the road, we came up behind a big-rig - they all have a number stamped on the back, I assume it identifies that specific cargo container and it's usually a 6 digit number.  Well, this one ended in 777!!!  Pat's response this time was, "Well, that's a little weird!"  LOL!

So the clincher happened on Friday.  I was off and home most of the day.  About mid-morning, I noticed a penny right in the middle of one of my leather chairs.  The leather is kind of ecru, so the penny was a stark contrast.  I was sitting at the table and just kind of shrugged it off.  Maybe it fell out of my pocket?  I don't really sit on that chair, but I do sit there for a moment each morning when I put on my pants and shoes and my first thought was that the penny fell out of my pocket.  I often wear the same pants 2 days in a row, but later I thought, wait a minute - I brought up fresh pants last night.  Hmm.  Then my next thought was, what are the chances it's a wheat penny?  So I'll explain that thought...

Back in the late 90's, Ann Landers had a letter about "pennies from heaven".  Someone who was convinced that she got a message from a passed relative when she found a pile of pennies someplace unusual...  This evoked an avalanche of letters from people over the next several months, about coins that were "messages." When Mark's mom died... this was Xmas time 1998... I was hoping for a sign from her, but I told Mark, "How would I ever know if she sent pennies from heaven when you shed change constantly??"  And he did!  I was constantly picking up his change, and when we finished the basement and he spent all his time down there (where I insisted it was HIS job to clean up!), the floor was always covered with change!  Anyway, after she died, I suddenly started finding wheat pennies.  Over the next couple months, I probably found a dozen or so.  If you watch for them, you will find a wheat penny now and then.  I've watched for them the last quarter of a century since she died and I may, MAY find one or two a year.  So I always felt I could safely say those dozen pennies were an "I'm ok" message from Thelma...

Now that I've told this story, it's obvious that the mystery penny on the chair was, indeed, a wheat penny.  Which easily could have been one of those "one or two" I find a year because I can't remember the last time I found one.  But it's happenstance placement kind of screamed "message!"  Many of the others I'd gotten came that same way - one sat squarely in the middle of my seat in the car.  They were always somewhere by themselves, in a "weird" place.  So a bit later that same day, I walk through the kitchen and there's a penny on the floor.  I walked by it several times, thinking there wasn't s snowball's chance in hell that it would be another wheat penny, but my curiosity got the better of me eventually and I picked it up.  Another wheat penny!  First one was 1957, this one was 1953.  

So 3 days in a row.  Very, very distinct, almost shouting messages.  What are they trying to say?  I stayed home Saturday and Sunday, and haven't gone anywhere today.  Maybe I've avoided whatever it may be telling me.  Or maybe they're trying to say something positive?  "Play the lottery?"  "You're about to cross paths with someone who will change your life?"  "Trust your instincts that your physical well-being is improving?"  I just don't know what to think!!

And that's how I will end today's ramblings.  I hope to have lots of fun things to report soon about my plants!

And on it goes...

Well, I've been frustrated with the lack of progress that I've had since vigilantly going to the Chiropractor for almost a month.  Did I write about this new chiropractor?  She's Vietnamese - Dr. Tammy Le.  I discovered her completely by accident, or more specifically... the universe led me to her.  I discovered my old chiropractor in LaVista had closed (temporarily, according to the sign on his door, but a call to his office number finds it is disconnected...) and it was a Friday and I had a neck misalignment that needed immediate attention, or I would be in for a miserable weekend.  I sat in the car and started calling chiropractors, trying to find one that would see me right away.  This Dr. Le was the first one that agreed to see me, and after filling out much paperwork and getting an xray, she adjusted me.  But she also went the extra mile... she spent about 30 minutes talking to me, using a vibrator on my neck and upper back (where I was having spasms as a result of the misalignment...) and then one of those clicker tools many of them use.  I talked to her extensively about my lower back and hip paid because I got such a good vibe from her.  She saw me twice more and then suggested that I needed intensive, 3 times a week adjustments and therapy and worked up a plan to the tune of about $450 out of my pocket.  But considering the time she spent with me, it was a bargain!!  HOWEVER, the results, in the end, were minimal.  

I don't want to downplay it in any way - it did help.  I went from constantly (even at home) using a cane with severe pain with every step to mostly NOT using the cane around the house, and using it intermittently when out.  But... still pain.  If I'm sitting, I'm fine.  An occasional twinge, sometimes stiffness, but pretty ok.  But the moment I get up and start to walk, there's the pain. Most times, the first several steps aren't bad.  But around step 10, it really starts to fire up.  And so when I'm out, I take my cane everywhere, though I don't always use it.  I have "good" days, which means pain in the range of say 4 (out of 10)... but again, only when I'm up walking.  I'm grateful, of course, that I'm fine when I sit, but the bad thing about that is the more I sit, most likely the worse it's getting. So here I am, after almost a month of what I'd consider pretty intensive chiropractic care that has included ultra-sound therapy and manipulation, and I can't get under the number 4.  

So a week ago, my neck was hurting me again.  Dr. Le is truly a godsend when it comes to the spine and is good with her therapies.  But she is not very good at adjusting my neck.  If you have been to chiropractors, you probably know that some are good at neck adjustments, some are very so-so, and some just aren't good at all.  Dr. Le is just not aggressive enough - she claims it's because I have a couple of fused vertebrae at the base of my neck and she's "being cautious".  And so I went out to see the chiropractor I've been seeing for the last couple years who also does acupuncture.  (The other one I talked about earlier, who's practice is temporarily closed, came before Dr. Corey...)  Dr. Corey is very good at getting my neck back in place - the trouble is that he's only in the office Monday - Wednesday, so if I'm desperate, I need someone else to see the other days... So I went out to see him because my neck was bothering me, and I admitted to him that I'd been going to another chiropractor (I called her a "PT chiropractor") and that I wish I could get further with this whole back/hip issue I was having.  

Dr. Corey had told me a couple months ago about this other therapy he offered called "spine decompression."  He told me about it after he took xrays of my back, but at that time he said "It's expensive and your back may not warrant spending the money right now."  That was the point at which I started looking into the idea of PT to see if that might help...  Well, during this recent visit, and after I detailed him about how bad my back/hip had gotten, he convinced me that I should consider this "decompression therapy."  He threw out a number of "around $3500 for a 3-month, 2x week commitment", and after some consideration, I thought I can hang on to $3500 and be miserable, or I can be $3500 poorer and maybe, MAYBE, have a shot at going back to my life.  So I got the plan, which is really more like $4000 with the attached chiropractic care, and I'm going to pull it from one of my IRAs and go for it.  Today, I was there and I did a test run... it was about 10 minutes on the machine, and I guess it will be 28 minutes each time in the future.  They want to know that my body can tolerate it - it has sensors that show if you're having muscle spasms and how well it's working, and everything looked good.  Well, when I was done, and started walking, wow... it felt so much better!  I hate to even say it, I hate to be that hopeful!  Of course, it didn't last long.  By the time I drove home, it was back to feeling the same, but it WAS only 10 minutes!  So fingers crossed...

So I start that therapy Monday at 11 a.m.  I hope that the 8 sessions I'll have before the end of the year (it might be a little less due to the holidays) will get me back into enough shape that I can go back to work after the first of the year.  I really miss my work peeps!!  

I got a somewhat nasty letter from the CPAP people a few days ago - "you have not been in compliance, using your CPAP less than 4 hours a night!"  So it looks like they're going to take it away from me.  (Oh, darn...can you hear my drippy sarcasm??)  They said I MUST make an appointment with my GP and call them to tell them the date and time.  (Even my GP doesn't understand that...) So I called to let them know I'd made the appointment, and asked if there was a chance they would give me an extension to try longer.  No, BCBS won't do that.  Okey dokey!  I asked if I had enough time to be compliant if I found a way to tolerate it for 4 hours a night and he said no, I only had a few days left.  Sooo... I've had 3 nights of glorious sleep without that fucking thing! 

✊

I'm going to pack it back into its case and wait for them to call and ask me to return it.  I'm going to try out one of these "adjustable" dental appliances I see online to see if that might help (thought how would I know since I already sleep like a baby?)  And I'm hopeful that once I get the weight off, the apnea will resolve itself. 

I'm tired of dealing with all these little health issues.  But I think I'm moving in the right direction.  My A1C is down to 5.6, and I was told that if I can maintain that for at least 6 months (or, God willing, go lower), I will be considered NOT diabetic, not even PRE-diabetic anymore.  I'm down around 35 lbs., and though I've been somewhat "stuck" for the last month, it's going in the right direction.  I have total resolve in sticking with it.  As for my glaucoma, after the procedure I had 3 weeks ago, my pressure came down from somewhere in the mid-40s to the high 20s.  They want it below 20, but they did say it can take 6 weeks for it to come down.  But happily, the pressure in my right eye was back down to 17, which is pretty good.  So I'm addressing that as well and hope everything is moving in the right direction with it.    

<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>

I wrote the above about 9 days ago, so I've been to my first two decompression therapy sessions.  What do I think?  Well, I'm cautiously optimistic I guess.  Do I hurt less?  Depends on when you ask me!  The day after my first one, hell no!  It was miserable!  But the next day, by the time I went in for my second round, it was better, but not "better" as in "I think it's working" but "better" as in "better than yesterday".   Now it's Saturday, so I'm 3 days from my 2nd treatment and I still have no concrete opinion about it.  The sense of relief (or not) is still a day-to-day, sometimes even hour-to-hour feeling.  Yesterday was pretty decent for most of the day, but then around the time I started on supper, it got gnarly.  But by the time I came up at bedtime, it was a little better again.  I remain hopeful...

In the evenings, right after supper, I go downstairs to watch TV, catch up on the various series I enjoy.  A little over a year ago, I bought one of those old-fart seated pedaling exercisers.  They advertise them on TV always with some old coot (or cootette!) pedaling away.  I was experiencing a little swelling in my lower legs and between that and the fact that a) I have arthritis and b) I don't get much exercise because of my gimpy-ness, this might help with all of that.  When I got it, I was surprised to find that it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be!  Wow, that made me realize just how bad it's gotten!  I started out on a slower speed, maybe setting 3 (of 10) and went as long as I could, which I think was maybe a half hour.  I committed to doing it every night and building on that and now, 13 months later, I spend at least 90 minutes, sometimes 2 hours or more, and I've been up to setting 7, though lately, with my soreness, I backed off one setting so I can go longer rather than faster.  And it helps.  It's keeping all those lower joints "loose", which I'm sure helps a lot with the arthritis.  To be honest, if it wasn't for this damn back issue and the havoc it's wreaking on my body, I would feel like a million bucks!

Now, on to other-than-health stuff!  I focus way too much on that right now! 

I got the Christmas decorations upstairs, thankfully before the stair-lift broke down!  The damn thing quit working about a week ago - since Mom died, it's been my "dumb waiter" for moving things up from and down to the basement.  And boy is it handy!  I can't go downstairs with an arm-full of stuff anymore because I need to use the rail for my unsteadiness.  So it has become a necessity, more or less.  Especially with the kitty litter!  That shit is HEAVY!  (No pun intended...)  I had to struggle a bag of used litter up the stairs a couple days ago using the "set it on a step, go up two steps and move it up" method to get it to the top of the stairs.  What a hassle!  They can't come out until the week of Xmas to fix it, so until then... I'm stuck doing it the way other old folks do it, I guess.  This, of course, makes me appreciate the fact that I have the thing at all!  It does make me feel good to get use out of it, though.  I had it installed for Mark, and he used it all of one time before going into the hospital, and then the home, never returning home to use it again.  Then Mom used it for the year she lived here.  I've never wanted to use it as it's intended for two reasons... I don't want to become that old person that needs a stairlift, and to be honest, I'm a little afraid of it.  As heavy as I am (yes, that's improving, but still...), I have this fear that it will break and I'll fall down the stairs.  I'm sure it's an unfounded fear because I think I read that it has a 350 lb. capacity, but whatever keeps me off of it is ok by me!

Anyway, back to my Christmas decorations.  I got rid of most of them years ago, but I like the festive feel of having a few things put around.  I usually put them out around the first of December, then put them away mid-January when the days start to feel a little longer.  I think it's a great distraction from the bitter cold and dark of winter.  So here are a few photos for posterity - for the future times when I may not be in a place, time or condition to decorate, so I can look back with fondness.  In my dining room (where I put most of it as that's where I spend most of my time at the table...), on the armoire...

That second pic is a jewelry tree that Mark's mom made.  She told me she had made it years before she gave it to me, and in fact she said she worked on it for years and years, using mostly old jewelry, like broken chains, half of a lost earring set, probably things she got at garage sales or thrifts stores... It's fascinating to just sit and look at!  There's even a teeny-tiny pic of Mark when he was a boy on there!  Every year when I get it out, I spend some time just studying it and appreciating all the work that went into it.  And I'm so honored that she gave it to ME!  There were things she wanted me (and Mark) to have when she died.  She had a little notebook with the names and things she wanted to be passed on.  But when she died, Bernie couldn't deal with it and none of that stuff was ever distributed.  When he died nine years later, his family got everything and either they didn't find her notebook or didn't care to honor her wishes.  

On the China cabinet...

I love plush Christmas trees and I'm always on the lookout for a new one.  We were able to put up Christmas trees at one time, but the cats I had then were older and not interested in them.  I discovered when I had younger cats that a traditional tree does not work with cats, so these are my version of a tree!  Can't fit much under them, but gifts are a thing of the past for me.  We quit doing that years ago.  I only get stuff for Merry's grandkids now...

I have my metal tree grove on the wall...

The butterflies have been there since Mom came to live with me, but I add the holiday ornaments and pinecones for the holiday feel.

Doorway to the sunroom...

Those side garnishments are old Avon pieces that I've had for years.  A couple years ago, I spruced them up a bit with some mini tree ball ornaments. More plush Christmas trees...

I just got the two white ones from an Etsy crafter.  

And here's a nice bowl of ornaments I put right by the front door...

So nothing fancy, nothing that takes too much time to put out.  Just enough to give me a month of festive distraction from the dead of winter!

Speaking of winter, I'm in for the count this weekend!  Today's high is 13 and it's supposed to get down to zero overnight.  Yikes.  There was a time when I didn't mind the cold, but I'm growing to hate it.  If I was an adventurous soul, I might consider moving to a more temperate climate.  I would still want the change of seasons, but it would be nice to be someplace where it was less extreme...I don't mind the 20s, but anything under that is just too much for me anymore.

Oh, one more pic I wanted to share.  I got this really nice insulated coffee mug from my Florida bud, Marco, for my birthday...

I love it because it's the perfect size - my old insulated mug didn't fit under my Kuerig without removing the base.  And the sentiment is so sweet... and the color, one of my favorites!  My gift to myself...

I'd been wanting to replace a little end table that sat here (dining room) for a while.  I found this on the NFM website and they were having a sale - most things there are already well under SRP, but most furniture was discounted additionally, then I had a flyer that let me take another 11% off, so it brought it down to about $275 w/tax.  This was one of the very few solid wood bookshelves they offered.  It's made of sheesham wood, which I had never heard of until I found this piece!  It's absolutely gorgeous with its highly contrasting colors!  I just love it.  And it's SO solid.  Of course, as I usually do, I looked around the internet to see if I could find it cheaper and boy was I surprised when I found it on Wayfair for $450 with a SRP of nearly $900!!  I felt like I got quite a deal!

And that's about all I have to talk about today!  Plants are maintaining, but nothing new to report.  Hopefully, I'll have good things to report about my back very soon!

Another year...

Well, another year has gone by... I turned 67 this week.  Where has the time gone?! It just flies by SO fast!  I said it in another recent post - getting older seems to evoke memories of good times, tough times, makes you think about the road taken and sometimes, the road not taken.  I think that when you are in a good place in your life, you don't have a lot of regrets, and that's where I am.  But you still wonder how different your life might have been IF... 

There were times over the years when I'd wonder if I would have been better off if I hadn't divorced my first husband, Paul.  He was ambitious and helpful, two qualities Mark didn't really possess.  Oh, Mark worked hard (I think) when he worked, but he was perfectly happy to be laid off and do absolutely nothing.  He never tried to take advantage of his stretches of no work by "getting things done."  He was perfectly content to be a slug, not even lifting a hand when he wasn't working and I was.  I likely would have been more financially secure had I stayed put.  But money does not equal happiness...

Paul grew up in a very religious home, and this aspect of his life was just part of who he was (and is).  I, on the other hand, grew up with a mother who was always in search of "the truth", and that did not necessarily mean traditional religion.  She did go through that phase of trying out different churches and their interpretations of the Bible.  And we (meaning me, my brother and sister) went along for the ride as children.  So I had a good working knowledge of what the Bible said, and to be perfectly frank, it always seemed like "the big lie" to me. Not that it doesn't have a lot of good stories that have value, but the directional part of it seemed completely out of sync with what my heart was telling me "God" is all about.  So we were never on the same page about that.  But when I was young (I was 18 when we married), I went along with his need to be part of a church... it never felt "good" to me.  When I got to be in my mid-twenties, I started to feel the need to be autonomous and didn't want to "play along" anymore.  

And that's when we split.  One regret I have is that I couldn't bring myself to be honest about why... I knew that if I told him this biggest reason for leaving, he probably would have left his church to appease me.  It's who he was.  He was so afraid of being alone, he would have sacrificed his own happiness (even his "soul") to keep me.  This is not a testimonial to how great I was - it's only an illustration of how dependent he was.  I remember a few years after we split, Mom confessed to me that he visited her after I moved out, trying to get her to push me to come back.  When she refused to get involved, he told her, "If she doesn't come back, I'll just find someone else to marry as I can legally."  Of course, this revelation gave me an "aha" moment... We got together when I was 17 right after his first wife (who he married when he was almost 18 and she was barely 16...) filed for divorce after only 6 months of marriage.  I was his "next warm body."  Oh boy, does that make a girl feel special! 

Paul and I were married for 8 years, and they were good years for the most part.  But I matured and I needed more freedom to have my own interests, my own friends.  Paul yearned for what his grandparents had - the kind of relationship where we did EVERYthing together, spending every minute together, lots of PDAs...  And all of this was nice when I was 18.  But by the time I was 25, I felt smothered.  But how do you tell someone who's just trying to be loving to "back off"?  It sounds cruel.  I couldn't be that directly cruel, but I think not being clear was another kind of cruel, and I regret that.  I guess I thought that I may not be strong enough to be firm if he offered to "change".  I didn't want him to change.  He needed to be with someone who would appreciate who he was.  And I guess this is why 18 is probably really too young to marry.  I thought I was very mature, and in most ways, I was.  But what I didn't realize is how much I would change over the next few years...

One thing that he did (before he left the Air Force) was have a vasectomy.  "We" decided when we were dating that we didn't want kids.  So this was the next step so I could get off the pill.  Looking back, I realize he did this for me.  After he married his 3rd wife, he got his vasectomy reversed (he and my brother were still close and that's how I heard about it.)  At first, I thought "Well, of course his new wife wants kids..."  But it got me thinking.  When we were dating in high school, his mom was babysitting several kids.  Paul was really good with the kids, and he was even good with babies.  I'd bet my bottom dollar that he only went along with my desire not to have kids to appease me.  I bet he really did always want children.  They weren't able to conceive their own, but they did adopt a son eventually.  And though I wish that they had been able to have one (or more) of their own, I'm glad he got to have the experience of parenthood because I think he probably was a good dad...  And that would have been something he never experienced had we stayed together.

Even though my marriage to Mark was far from perfect, and I bitched a lot about his shortcomings, it allowed me to "find myself".  I always hated that phrase, but I get what it means.  I just wish there was a different way of saying it because it sounds trite.  What it means to me is I was able to find my individuality, free of another person.  Mark was very independent, never jealous, never needed affirmation or ego-boosting.  He let me do what I enjoyed, spend time with friends or family as I wanted, never complained that we didn't do enough together.  We didn't have a lot of common interests, and maybe it would have been nice to have a few more, but it helped me find my own way to happiness that didn't depend on someone else.  

We weren't that lovey-dovey couple, but our love was more like monogamous best friends (with benefits of course) with our own lives.  Our communication was good - we talked a lot about work, our interests (his golfing and my plant obsession), our common interests (music, politics, current events, life...) So even though our lives didn't cross over in a lot of areas, we always came together at the end of the day for conversation.  

So what this life created for me was a sense of confidence and self-awareness that I probably wouldn't have had if I'd stayed married to Paul because our lives would have been much more intertwined.  When Mark died, I had no problem going on alone.  If we had a more traditional marriage, lives more entangled and more dependent on each other, I probably would have felt more "lost".  After he died, I made it a point to tell him (yes, I still talk to him) I appreciated the fact that he had a hand in how strong I felt in looking ahead and seeing a future alone.  I have felt no need to pursue a new relationship because I'm just fine on my own.  I'm happy where I am...

Another "road not taken" was a higher education.  When Paul went into the Air Force, the plan was for him to get an associate degree and then I would get some college, what we could afford, after he got out.  My parents couldn't afford to help with tuition, so I would have to take a class at a time, while working.  Well, Paul was just getting settled in a great job with OPPD (our power company) when we split.  I took a few classes over the next few years - some writing classes, an accounting class and some other business classes.  Other than the writing classes, it was mostly drudgery in my mind, more or less like school had been.  But I think I did pretty damn good without a formal degree.  I worked office jobs, everything from clerical work to administrative.  I worked as a full-charge bookkeeper and eventually office manager at an HVAC company.  

And all of that experience served me well when I came into Mom's catering and party venue business.  After about 10 years of helping her grow the business (I had better business acumen, but she was the better "people person"), and working for a lot less than I was making with the HVAC company, she gave me half the business including half the property.  It was hard earned - I was grateful that Mark had gotten into the union and was making a good living so that I could afford to work for less as the business grew.  And by the time we sold the business 11 years later, the property values had soared in Pappillion and we got a good price for the building and contents, plus the value of the business (which wasn't nearly what we thought it should be...)  It gave me a decent nest egg to retire on.  Not exactly a mountain of money, but a hill that will sustain me as long as I live practically.  The house is paid for, though a 100+ year old house does require a LOT of maintenance!  

So I don't feel that I "missed the boat" by not getting a degree.  It's possible I would have a bigger "hill" of money if I had, but on the other hand, I never had student loans to pay off, so maybe not!

In the big picture, I'm perfectly content with my life as it is right now.  I have friends that I can depend on.  I am financially secure.  I've got pretty much everything I want.  My 3 cats are happy and healthy, though Pearl - at 17 - is approaching her transition over the Rainbow Bridge.  When you have pets, it's something you can't avoid and you kind of prepare yourself as they age.  I just try to appreciate the time I have with her... 

The biggest thing right now is my health.  Not that it's bad, but it definitely needs work!  I'm on a journey to lose weight and get healthier.  I'm working on my joint/back issues, seeing a chiropractor 3 times a week which I will continue to do until things vastly improve.  At that point, I will be diligent about sustaining that with regular visits.  I've gotten my BP under control and my A1C is down.  My diet in general is greatly improved - way fewer carbs, much more protein, lots of veggies... I'm learning to substitute more diet friendly ingredients. 

I'm anxious to get back to work.  I think the last time I worked was mid-September.  After a few weeks, I filled out paperwork to take a hiatus until after the first of the year, but I'd like to get back sooner if I can. I miss my work buds...

And that's enough for now.  I have a crazy day tomorrow (Monday).  FOUR doc appointments!!  Dentist (routine cleaning and MAYBE something else), Ophthalmologist (to check my eye pressure after a little procedure two weeks ago), the nurse practitioner who put me on Ozempic (for a blood draw to see how it's affecting me) and then the chiropractor.  I'll be exhausted tomorrow night!  😵

Celebrate and...

 I've now been on my diet for 3 months - it will be 13 weeks this coming Wednesday.  Weight Watchers + Ozempic (for what is now true diabetes, but should also help with the weight loss...)  A couple weeks after I started dieting but before I went on Ozempic, I was at an appointment to see the nurse practitioner who specializes in hormone imbalance/metabolic issues and she weighed me - I had lost about 9 pounds in the first two weeks.  But I've dieted often enough (and known people who diet) to know that the first 10 lbs is usually water weight than comes off when you start eating better, so I didn't get too excited.  Two weeks later, I saw her again and I had lost a whopping one pound in that 14 days!  Oh boy... what a disappointment, but not exactly unanticipated.  Last time I tried WW (which was back in 2018), I don't think I ever got much past that first 10 pounds...

So I've been avoiding the scale.  I didn't want the disappointment of knowing all my hard work isn't netting much and I didn't want to give myself an excuse for giving up.  But I've been very good and very meticulous and mindful.  I've noticed little changes in the way clothes fit me, but nothing that screams WOW.  And as far as seeing any changes - nope!  But my mantra right now is "if I keep at it, sooner or later it's got to work."  

Today, a little mishap caused by my older cat, Pearl, when she fell and knocked over a cup of water I keep in the bathroom next to the vanity for the cats - water ended up under the vanity.  So I got out a towel and dragged the scale out from under the vanity to clean up the mess and when I was done, I thought "Well, it's out and maybe it's a sign that it's time to face the music..."  I held my breath and stepped on it - I'm down 26 lbs from my starting weight!  I was shocked.  It's incredible that I can't see or feel it other than a slight difference in how things are fitting - not that things are "loose", mind you, just different!  Well, that calculates out to 2 lbs a week, which I've always said was about the max I prefer to lose so that it comes off in a healthy way and so maybe my skin can spring back at least a little... I have a long way to go, but at least this gives me hope that I can do it.

Something I won't dwell on for too long - OMG my hip has been KILLING me!  Dr. Corey, my chiropractor, says it appears to be my psoas muscle is shortened and probably spasming.  So I'm trying to do some exercises I found on the internet that are oh-so-painful!  But you know what seems to help even more?  Something I learned from my spiritual guru, Abraham... "Act as if"... in other words, when I get up to walk, I DON'T allow myself to "gimp."  No matter how bad it hurts, walk as if there is no pain.  And if I can consciously do that, the pain is far less!  This came out of an observation that it doesn't bother me as much when I am at work.  I think when I'm home, I'm far too focused on it, which exacerbates it! 

Joe Dispenza tells his story of healing himself from severe spinal injuries with the power of his mind.  He was apparently badly injured in a biking accident and refused surgery that would leave him with permanent chronic pain and instead used his mind, focusing on the "feeling" of being healed and whole - in other words, you get what you focus on or think about.  If all you can see and feel is what IS, you will get more of what IS.  If you can see past what IS at what's possible, tricking your body into feeling what you want, that state of wholeness has to follow.   It's very "heady" stuff that essentially is about the power of the mind.  So it's what I'm trying to focus on.  Seeing myself fit.  Seeing myself pain-free.  Seeing myself with clarity and youth and energy.  

And before I "blog-off" (tee-hee), I wanted to show pics of a dish garden.  Every year for the last few, the DM cactus club has been having a field trip meeting at a very nice nursery in Norwalk called Bedwell's.  We create a dish garden, so I've got 3 now and I just brought the last one in today, snapped some pics as it looks really fabulous.  Here is the whole thing (closeups to follow)...

I couldn't get the top of the tallest plant in the photo, but here is the top with some detail.  This is Senecio crassissimus, commonly known as Vertical Leaf:

It's been out in full sun, thus the red edges.  It's one of the neatest of the Senecios IMO.  Next we have Sedum burrito, the smallest of the Burro's Tail type succulents...

When you have a pot full of this, hanging, it's quite impressive!  Next is Crassula spiralis 'Estangol'...

I'll keep my fingers crossed that it stays this compact through the winter, but it's not likely here.  And last one is Senecio jacobsenii...

A lot of people call this the cascading or hanging Jade, but it's not in the same genus.  It's another one that looks pretty impressive when grown hanging.  All are doing very well.  I will photograph another dish garden next time.