Always something...

...to give thought to in this world. Biden dropped out of the race and, at first, I thought it could hurt the dem side.  Are older Americans ready for a woman president?  A NOT WHITE woman president?  Ok, we've had a black president and I think he was generally accepted except by extremists.  I think he did a fine job (pubs would disagree because there is NO good dem) and he was civilized, he was dignified, he was a good speaker, he was a fine diplomat - he was everything DT is NOT.  It was a stark contrast going from Obama to Trump.  Biden has been a decent president (again, pubs would disagree) but he WAS showing his age.  And that awful debate destroyed a lot of confidence in his ability to get through the next 4 years.  I mean, let's face it - being president is a severely aging job, and he can't afford to age anymore!

Anyway, it turns out that it seems Harris coming forward as the candidate has garnered a lot of enthusiasm for the party.  No, she doesn't have a lot of political experience, but I suspect that might be something on the plus side of the scale.  She's smart, so she will surround herself with people who excel where she lacks experience.  That's what smart people do!  And honestly, I think she can outshine Trump in enough areas that the pubs who have come to their senses about Trump will secretly vote for her.  Yes, the hard-core pubs, the radical gun-toting militia-loving extremists will still vote for him.  But I think as Donald continues to dig his hole, and as his new VP choice, who is as much a prick as he is, carries on that same undignified assault on... well, everyone!... it's a no-brainer that she's going to win. YAY!

And what is with that guy?  Why did he pick HIM?  At least Pence seemed to be an honorable human being.  He appeared to have class and dignity.  He was a stark contrast to Trump.  When Trump won, I thought, well with a little luck, maybe he will drop dead and Pence will take the reigns.  Yes, I actually thought that!  I'm not really proud of it, but one has to wonder how in the world, with all the choices, the pubs chose such a low-class, mean-spirited, ego maniacal bully to put on the ticket.  TWICE now!  If this is the best they can do, it might be time to reformat the party... And no, I don't think that is the best they can do.  They had some perfectly decent candidates to choose from before the primary.  I would LOVE to have the option of a decent pub to vote for!  

That's about all I have to say right now on that subject.  It's been getting hotter and next week looks like a doozy.  Heat index well over 100.  Yuck.  Next weekend is the Des Moines cactus club display and sale.  Seems like neither of our clubs can work up enough plants for a real "show" anymore.  All the old experienced growers are dying off and it's not much of a show with 4 or 5 people providing all the plants. Back before it got like this, we would bring in judges from other clubs - I was actually one of the judges (they usually bring in 3) at a DM show before I became a member.  And one of the reasons I became a member was that our club had quit doing shows and DM was still doing them, and this was my chance to keep showing.  So much for that!  I think this is their 3rd year of doing just a display.  It's probably been 6 or more years since out club quit doing shows.  We don't even have a formal display and sale anymore...

Above is my Aloe nobilis in bloom.  It's my biggest Aloe and I keep it in check by periodically  whacking it back and re-rooting it, which I did this last winter.  Typical of Aloes, the oldest lower leaves eventually die off and the stem becomes longer which means eventually, it starts to creep out of the pot and over the edge.  So the whacking comes at that point and I just start with fresh soil and fill the pot, setting the plant so the leaves rest on the edge of the pot and hold the old stem into the soil.  It roots fast this way.  And it doesn't seem to affect the annual blooming.  Here is a closeup of the inflorescence...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just love the flowers on this one!  Reminds me of a flame...

Also blooming today is a teeny-tiny succulent that Kathy describes as "a little Joshua tree".  I got mine a couple years ago from a club member, and I put it in a tiny 3x4" bonsai pot.  I don't think it's grown an iota since I got it, but here it is with two of these cute little flowers that are about an inch across:

The botanical name is Sarcocaulon vandereitae, and since mine is so tiny, I'll just put a photo from the web for reference to show the tiny leaves:
 

I've had a dove on my back porch every single time I go out there the last few days.  I was starting to think she had built a nest right there on the porch, but I can't find it if she did.  She often sits there if I don't move too fast, and watches me.  I talk to her in a gentle voice, hoping she'll get used to me.  I wish I knew why she's hanging so close...

I'm trying to get a lot of stuff potted up to get sold before fall sets in.  Whatever I don't sell, I will donate.  Every early September, Holy Cross has a festival and they have a plant booth.  One of my neighbors, Melody, who has been here a couple years longer than us, started asking me about 20 years ago if I had plants to donate.  And I always have, except one year - the year (2022) that the hail took out so many of my plants.  This year, I will have a LOT of plants for her!  I did last year as well.  She (Michelle, the organizer) says my plants sell better than any of the others she gets.  She has a little GH herself and lives a few blocks from me, in the very NICE Morton Meadows.  I figure we're about the same age as she just retired last year.  She has several sales every summer, selling plants and other things in a garage sale.  I think she probably enjoys it as much as I do!

I suppose I should get back to my newsletter.  I need to have it done and out Sunday evening.  More later, probably after the display/sale weekend...

Deism

Crazy as it sounds, my daily crossword puzzle led to an epiphany this morning.  The clue was "certain believer in God" and I had the first letter, a "D".  I had to fill it in to get the answer, which was "diest".  Now I know the word "diety" as in "God" or at least "a god".  Part of what I like about doing puzzles is looking up words I don't know or fully understand or people I don't recognize so I can learn something new, so I looked it up and guess what?... I'M  A DIEST!!  Finally, a word that describes my place in the "religious" community!  And because I tend to have a bit of the forgetful mind these days, I'm going to quote Wiki so that I can refer back here until it's firmly entrenched in my mind...

Diesm is the philisophical position and rationalistic theology that generally rejects revelation as a source of divine knowledge and asserts that empirical reason and observation of the natural world are exclusively logical, reliable, and sufficient to determine the existence of a Supreme Being as a creator of the universe. More simply stated, Deism is the belief in the existence of God (often, but not necessarily, a God who does not intervene with the universe after creating it), solely based on rational thought without any reliance on revealed religions or religious authority. Deism emphasizes the concept of natural theology —that is, God's existence is revealed through nature.

It then goes into the history of Diesm, which is interesting but a bit of a snooze.  But here's some more interesting stuff I can relate to...

Enlightenment Deism consisted of two philosophical assertions: (1) reason, along with features of the natural world, is a valid source of religious knowledge, and (2) revelation is not a valid source of religious knowledge. Different Deist philosophers expanded on these two assertions to create what Leslie Stephen later termed the "constructive" and "critical" aspects of Deism. "Constructive" assertions—assertions that deist writers felt were justified by appeals to reason and features of the natural world (or perhaps were intuitively obvious or common notions)—included:

• God exists and created the universe.
• God gave humans the ability to reason.

"Critical" assertions—assertions that followed from the denial of revelation as a valid source of religious knowledge—were much more numerous, and included:

• Rejection of all books (including the Quran and the Bible) that claimed to contain divine revelation.
• Rejection of the incomprehensible notion of the Trinity and other religious "mysteries".
• Rejection of reports of miracles, prophecies, etc.
  

(These assertions truly hit home for me!  I've thought for a long time that the Bible really should be tossed out because it causes more havoc and division than any other single thing in this world.  I think that Jesus was a great man whose singular message was love, but the son of God?  No more than any of the rest of us. Died for our sins?  A ridiculous concept.  If "sin" is a thing, and I can point to the fact that Jesus died for my sins, why not sin on?  I am the only person who is responsible for my actions and no other person has the power to atone for what I do.  And I don't think that miracles are from God.  I think they occur from the power of wanting - the power of our own minds.  If they are from God, what makes this guy "worthy" of a miracle and the next not "worthy"? Where does the saying, "The good die young" come from? It highlights the unfairness that the religious concept of good and evil don't seem to be at play when good things happen to/for bad people and good people seem to get the shaft...)  

A central premise of Deism was that the religions of their day were corruptions of an original religion that was pure, natural, simple, and rational. Humanity lost this original religion when it was subsequently corrupted by priests who manipulated it for personal gain and for the class interests of the priesthood, and encrusted it with superstitions and "mysteries"—irrational theological doctrines. Deists referred to this manipulation of religious doctrine as "priestcraft", a derogatory term. For deists, this corruption of natural religion was designed to keep laypeople baffled by "mysteries" and dependent on the priesthood for information about the requirements for salvation. This gave the priesthood a great deal of power, which the Deists believed the priesthood worked to maintain and increase. Deists saw it as their mission to strip away "priestcraft" and "mysteries". Tindal, perhaps the most prominent deist writer, claimed that this was the proper, original role of the Christian Church.

One implication of this premise was that current-day primitive societies, or societies that existed in the distant past, should have religious beliefs less infused with superstitions and closer to those of natural theology. This position became less and less plausible as thinkers such as David Hume began studying the natural history of religion and suggested that the origin of religion was not in reason but in emotions, such as the fear of the unknown. 

Different Deists had different beliefs about the immortality of the soul, about the existence of Hell and damnation to punish the wicked, and the existence of Heaven to reward the virtuous. Anthony Collins, Bolingbroke, Thomas Chubb, and Peter Annet were materialists and either denied or doubted the immortality of the soul.  Benjamin Franklin believed in reincarnation or resurrection. Lord Herbert of Cherbury and William Wollaston held that souls exist, survive death, and in the afterlife are rewarded or punished by God for their behavior in life. Thomas Paine believed in the "probability" of the immortality of the soul. 

Yes, I believe that our "soul" or inner being, spirit...whatever you want to call it, goes on when our body dies.  I think we go into "source" or God and continue on both collectively and ever the individual.  But I don't believe that there is either punishment or reward, because we are born as pure, positive energy and we return into pure, positive energy - when we leave these bodies behind, our spirit is once again pure, positive energy and all that negativity is GONE.  Coming here is about learning and seeking joy.  If we screw that up, it's because we have gotten far from source, become out of alignment with our inner being and the punishment is here on earth - it's the negativity in our lives that is the result of that.  It manifests in degrees of unhappiness and hopelessness, broken relationships, seeming "bad luck", not getting our desires, health issues from mild to severe, a feeling of disconnection... any negative experience or emotion is the "punishment" brought on by our actions that occur from a place of misalignment.

Anyway, I'll be looking into this further.  I've spent a lifetime of sifting and sorting through belief systems to find what feels right and logical to me and this so closely describes what makes the most sense to me.  It's comforting to know that there are other people out there who reject the status quo and think freely, without the constraints of their Bible-based roots.

My opinion...

 ...seems to be what brings me to my blog these days.  Whatever it takes to get me started, I guess.  I'll see a news story and something (sometimes, all of it!) will either resonate with me, or make me fightin' mad!  Sometimes it's not that intense.  Today, it was a story about a man who has gotten the first larynx transplant.  He'd lost his voice to cancer and/or cancer treatment.  Along with that, he had difficulty both swallowing and breathing.  This was a life-changing, life IMPROVING surgery.  Wonderful, right?  The part that got me mad as a wet hen was the caveat that some doctors oppose this surgery because "a person can survive without a larynx and transplants can be tricky, complications can develop, so is it worth the risk?"

And this is what is wrong about western medicine.  It's all about keeping us alive as long as possible, quality of life be damned. They tell the patient, "Oh, we can beat this cancer!  It has a blah-blah survival rate!"  And the patient jumps in with both feet.  Then some come out on the other end of treatment with some life-altering and often miserable consequence of the treatment.  "Yes, but you're AVLIVE!" the doctor proclaims.  "But life is no fun!"  They don't care... well, deep down, they may care on a human level, but they did their job - they kept you alive, and miserable life is surely better than dead, right? I'm sure some people might agree, but there might be people who would opt out of treatment if given ALL the information about what to expect after treatment.  The key is to ask the questions that will put the doc on the spot and force the truth to be revealed and then do lots of research as well before making a decision.

Mark used to go to his doc appointments by himself and he would come home and I would say something like, "So what did he say about ______? And he would say something like, "I didn't ask."  I'd give him some shit about it and he would say, "I figure he told me everything I needed to know."  So I started going with him so I could pick the doc's brain. When Mark was diagnosed with bladder cancer, they really wanted to do chemo before removing his bladder.  If I hadn't been there, he probably would have said, "Ok" without any questions. (Doc knows best, right?) But I had plenty of questions.  "Why BEFORE?"  The answer was to shrink it down in case some was outside the bladder walls. So my next question was, "Well, can't we make the decision about chemo AFTER, when we find out if you got it all or not with surgery?"  The answer was yes, that was an option.  (So I'm thinking... they were willing to put his body through this process of poisoning it for some months, the misery of losing his hair and feeling like crap while the poison works, on the off-chance that the cancer had spread outside the bladder.  Nice.)

Big question Mark would never ask, but I knew the answer to it from one of Wes' friends who had gone through chemo... "Mark likes to smoke pot.  Is it ok to do so while he's going through chemo?"  The answer was that he would need to quit because there are impurities in pot (such as mold spores) that can be detrimental to someone who's immune system is compromised by chemo. He would be free to start back up as soon as his immune system had recovered, about 6 months. (Wes' friend DIED when he defied doctor's orders and smoked before his immune system had recovered.)

And then one more thing we learned that probably would never have come out if he'd been alone.  At some point, I could see Mark didn't hear what the doc said.  Like so many older people going deaf, instead of saying, "What? Can you repeat that?"... he just acted like he understood with a bit of confusion on his face.  I was very familiar with that "I can't hear you but don't want to admit it" face.  I turned to the doc and said, "He's about half deaf, can you repeat that?"  I think it was at that point that the doctor admitted that this particular chemo (I had no idea there were different kinds!) typically seriously compromised the hearing and would probably leave someone like Mark completely deaf.  Mark and I have always been on the same page when it comes to music - it's one of the most important facets of our lives and I can not imagine life without it... Add to that that he was always a social butterfly who loved to just sit around and yak it up.  Complete deafness would have been isolating and miserable. (But he would have been ALIVE!)

Now, subject change!

I'm sure I've said it a few times already, but WOW what a great year for my plants!  There are only a few now that haven't done much. That new parasitica Black Margin I got from the young lady at the men's club event remains quietly perky.  Looks fine but has yet to pop any new growth.  The other two I got from her are doing fine and growing.  Which is kind of weird because the other two are both variegates, which are notoriously slow growers.  Go figure!

Below is Rhaphidorpha hayi, a "shingle plant" I got from Lowe's a couple years ago.  It came on this piece of wood, but it's never clung to it, which is how shingle plants are supposed to grow.  I suppose if the environment was truly humid, it might develop the right kid of roots and cling.  Anyway, this is what's left of it and it's looking pretty good, but I spray the board and plant every day.  I wish I knew a better way to grow it so that it would thrive.  I've thought of maybe some screen with some moss that I could spray daily.  

Another one doing very well is H. juannguoiana, which I shorten to Juan.  This one got beat up in the hail in '22 and had a point where it started to dehydrate and I took cuttings.  And it came back.  It's had several blooms on it this year and it's looking fat and happy!  I love how the leaves get random darker spots and how very succulent they are!

 

H. aff. (which is short for "affinis" which means "similar to") clandestina is one I mentioned not long ago beccause it had begun to put on new growth.  Well, it's poppin' all over the place.  It was slow to come back, but now it's got 3 strong growth points, doing quite well.  I'm anxious to see how it looks come fall!

And just an FYI... I acquired the TRUE clandestina 3 years ago and it's growing like crazy and wow, the leaves knock my socks off!

 

This next picture is the seedlings of Pseudorhipsalis romulosa that's I've grown from seed. Yes!  Me from seed!  I'm not good at it - at least not if I do it on purpose. That Schizobasis bulb that seeds so profusely falls into everything and those pop up everywhere.  And once in a blue moon, a Crown of Thorns must drop a seed because I will find a baby seedling under the mama plant.  But when I try to grow from seed, it never goes well.  Well, now I can say "rarely" instead of "never"!  I have this one, and I've got a baby Pachypodium lamerei I grew from seed (!!!), and a Haemanthus albiflos.  The Pachy and Haemanthus are both still at a stage where I could lose them.  But here's the little pot of Pseudorhipsalis:

It gets quite red in sun.  My others are outside and absolutely fire-engine red!

 
This one is a NOID, possibly a form of acuta??  I don't know... that doesn't seem quite right.  But it hasn't bloomed yet.  New leaves are a nice bronze, and somewhat thin.  Then they mature into green and more succulent:

 I have two similar species, both in my bedroom window, that are budding up.  Neither is a first time budder, but I do look forward to their blooms because they remind me of fin, who has a really nice flower.  First one is meredithii x crassicaulis, second one is EPC-392.

I don't grow many tropicals - that shingle plant is one of a few.  They usually don't do that well because my natural ability leans toward succulents.  I know some people think that Hoyas seem tropical, but they are really "honorary" succulents.  In fact, when there is a succulent show, they are on the list.  They do require more water, but they are survivors and if you let them go a bit too long, they recover unlike many true tropicals.  So I got this Philodendrum from Karin a couple years back.  I'm terrible with Philos and the like so I fully expected it to go into the toilet pretty quickly.  But it's done fine.  In fact, it got a little crazy and I whack off a couple feet and stuck it in water and let it root.  Today, I put that into the pot with the mother plant.  So here is Philodendrum mayoi...

So proud of myself!!

 One last thing before I stop today, and that comes from the department called "you're never too old to learn something new".  Maybe six weeks ago or so, I decided to put one of my two surigaoensis (which I shorten to "surge") in the GH.  It hadn't shown any signs of new growth and I wanted it to get a "boost."  In 2019, I had a large branch that started to dehydrate and I took it off, put it in a pot and set it in the GH.  It rooted very quickly, plumped right back up and turned into a grand plant itself, which is how I ended up with two.  So the one I put in the GH is the original one, and it very quickly burst out with new growth!  After some of the leaves matured (also quickly), I decided to bring it back in to it's spot.  My reasoning was that new leaves in the higher light of the GH wouldn't be as large, and it's the sheer size of the leaves that make it so spectacular.  And since the other one hadn't really started growing, I went ahead and put that one out where the other was sitting, hoping it would have the same effect.  So, two lessons learned.  First one I should have known... leaves growing in the house are weak and will BURN easily in the GH!  I had to cut off a few burnt leaves and I feel awful about that!  What a douche I am!  But the second lesson is about some species obviously loving the heat.  It's only been out there a week at most, and there's a new vine with new leaves!!  AMAZING!!  Mind blown again.  I'll bring it back in once it develops a couple more vines...

And that's it for today!

 

The debate

 It was... embarrassing is the only word I can come up with.  Two grown men acting like school children, one the bully and the other going into defense mode. Trump couldn't answer a question directly to save his life - all he could do was throw insults and lies.  And Biden, instead of just getting on with the issues, he felt it necessary to "punch back" and set the record straight.  I would have had far more respect for him if he would have used one of these responses each and every time:

"I won't dignify that load of hogwash with an answer..."

"WOW!! (Hesitates) Now let's get back to reality..."

"Have you had your mental health evaluated lately?"

"Are you living in an alternate reality?"

"Where do you come up with this stuff?"

"Did you even listen to the question?"

Do not pass go.  Do not dignify anything the man says with a response except a little "poke" that shows you are only amused by his crazy jibber-jabber.  Just answer the question and talk about the issues.  I think in his attempt to not appear weak and defend himself, it had the opposite effect, as if people might take his crazy lies seriously.  Of course, we all know the "Trumpsters" swallow everything he says hook, line & sinker, but you can't change those people's minds no matter WHAT you say, so why try?  So he should have stayed the course of ignoring the crazy man and speaking to the issues, focusing on pulling over the fence-sitters, solidifying the solid democrats, and maybe getting some of those so disgusted with our choices who either won't vote at all or plan to write in or go for one of the alternates. 

And, unfortunately, Trump being Trump threw him completely off his "A game".  His faltering was embarrassing - I feel for him.  If someone was throwing that much garbage at me, I'd have trouble focusing, too.  But when he got down in the mire himself to defend his record and deny the crazy lies, he wasted valuable time and became flustered. I've heard there will be another debate in September.  I hope someone advises him to just act amused by the crazy man and answer the damn questions!  He needs to find a way to put up a metal "force field" and let the insults bounce off.  Hurling insults and working his followers into a frenzy of hate is what he does because he has NOTHING to bring to the table, NOTHING positive to offer this country. I just wish the Kool Aid drinkers would snap out of it and help fix what's wrong here.  And I don't mean by becoming democrat.  I've voted both ways and I would have loved if they'd had a decent candidate on the republican side this time.  I wish both parties would go back to the days when the priority was what was best for the country, not this polarizing attitude of "I won't vote for that because it's a (Rep/Dem - take you pick) bill."  

And that's what I think!

*******

Guardian angel moment - I had one today!  On my last day off, which I think was Wednesday, I got a call from Dr. Jana's office.  Dr. Jana is the orthopedic surgeon who replaced my left hip in 2019.  Some background..he was a godsend for a couple reasons.  First, because he did not require me to lose weight to do the surgery.  A lot of surgeons want a patient to be below a certain weight to have the surgery and although he said it would be ideal if I weren't as heavy, he would do the surgery either way.  (Believe me when I say I would give ANYthing to lose some weight, but for whatever reason, I'm finding it impossible at this age...)  The other thing is that even back then, when it was a new option, his method was "anterior hip replacement."  I didn't really understand it at the time, but it means they make a small incision at the front which avoids some ligaments and muscles affected by going in through the side.  Faster, easier recovery.  So of course, I want him to do my right hip.  

I had made my first appointment to see him a year and a half ago (Jan. of 2023), but Mom was dealing with cancer and I put it off, moving the appointment forward a couple months.  I started doing "soft wave" therapy in hopes of delaying my need for surgery.  As the new appointment date approached, Mom was near the end and again, I didn't want to leave her alone and cancelled that one as the soft wave therapy was helping.  Fast forward a year... I had stopped doing the soft wave after about 6 months because it was all out-of-pocket and my hip had declined to the point that I really needed to do something, so I made a new appoint.  As usual with Dr. Jana, it was 3 months out, July 29th.

So back to Wednesday... his office called to say that he was leaving that practice and would not be available for my appointment - did I want to cancel or make an appointment with another surgeon?  (Mind you, this is just the appointment to get the xray or whatever to determine that yes, I do need hip replacement...)  I asked where he was going and, of course, they couldn't or wouldn't tell me, so I said let me get back to you.  So I'm feeling a little panicked, trying to figure out how I could find out - where is he going?  Is he moving away?  Is he retiring? So I sat down and composed a letter that I thought I would send to him at the old practice (they had told me he would be doing follow-up appoints only until late August) hoping I could get him to contact me and let me know if I could follow him to a new practice, assuming it wasn't a move or retirement.  I hadn't sent it, wanting to think on it a couple days.  I was sitting there at the Farmer's Market this morning telling Kathy about this dilemma when a woman walked up to look at our plants and she said, "who's your hip doctor?"  I turned around, not realizing she was standing there, and said, "Oh, uh, his name is..." and it was there but I couldn't say it (sign of age!!) and she said, "It wouldn't be Jana would it?"  I said, "YES! Dr. Jana!"  She said, "there are rumors that he's coming to the practice I work for."  My jaw dropped!!  I mean, let's look at the chances that this happened.  If I had told Kathy this story 5 minutes sooner or 5 minutes later, this lady would not have overheard us and I still be fretting over how to deal with this! How do our angels do this kind of thing??  I don't know, but I'm sure grateful that they get it done!

So it's Ortho Nebraska, and I will be calling them once a week until they start making appointments for Dr. Jana...

********

I worked yesterday (Monday) and was called to work today, but last evening, I did something that caused my neck to slip out of alignment and pinch a nerve.  OMG, I've been in so much pain since!  I texted work and said I wouldn't be in then went to Dr. Corey (my chiropractor).  But as is typical, it's still hurting though maybe just a bit less.  I'm going back tomorrow...

********

Today is the 4th.  My neck is much better.  I was a little afraid it was getting worse again yesterday afternoon, but it settled down.  I suppose I'll have some twinges for awhile.  When you get a pinched nerve, that really can screw up the muscles leaving soreness for quite awhile...

Last night, Laurie (my friend/hair stylest) came by and we had an hour with my favorite medium/psychic.  He said he was greeted by Mark & Mom on the porch, like last time.  It really sounds like they're hangin' together a lot, which I can see.  They are a lot alike - social butterflies, love to sit around and just shoot the shit... just have fun.  It's very clear that they are both here with me a lot.  Mark made it a point to tell me that "he's not mad" as Kevin put it.  He tried to articulate it carefully, but I knew exactly what he meant.  I am admittedly NOT a great caretaker.  Let me rephrase that - I'm good at loving, I'm good at communicating, and I will do ANYthing up to a point.  But I am not good at helping with things that involve bodily fluids and terrible smells.  (I did get quite good with helping him with his urostomy bag, but he would have to empty it...)   I get queasy and gaggy and it's all I can do to keep from losing my dinner. It's one of the reasons motherhood never appealed to me.  Mark quit taking regular showers several years ago.  He probably didn't shower more than once a month in the last few years.  Most of the time, he would just clean up with baby wipes. Enough so to keep the smell down for the most part, but the last couple years, he even got less frequent with that, to the point that I would tell him "please take a shower or clean up - you smell like hobo!"  And the last few months, there was some vomiting and he was wearing diapers because he couldn't get out of bed and walk around himself, so there were accidents. And between all of that and his size (he was a big 6'5" and a little under 200 lbs. when he was bony...), he needed to be in a home so he had help getting in and out of bed.  He wasn't happy about that and wanted me to bring him home.  Intellectually, I know that he knew he needed to be there and it would be too much for me to handle him and there would be lots of falls... but he hated being there.  I understood that, and it broke my heart that I couldn't take care of him, and it ripped my heart OUT that I couldn't spend more time with him there. (Stupid covid...)  So I'm glad he brought it up.  I do feel some relief knowing he's forgiven me for that.

Wes hasn't come through much the last couple times.  I didn't comment about it, but I was thinking about it when he said, "Your brother seems to have a lot going on there, like he's staying busy with other things."  I think his point was that he wasn't hangin' with Mark and Mom so much... he's got "things to do".  That is SO Wes! Wes did not spend a lot of time lounging around.  He was always tinkering with something, or fixing something, or figuring something out, or helping someone else figure something out.  

I was a little worried that my family would stay in front so Laurie's couldn't come through, but then her mom came through and, after a bit, her dad.  I think she was very impressed and touched by the messages she got.  Sometimes, he has a little trouble interpreting what he's seeing, but if you pay attention, you can usually figure out how it fits.  Like he talked about her mom by saying, "I think it's a mother-figure who always had to look sharp, perfect makeup, hair, etc..."  She said her mom wasn't much into wearing makeup by the time Laurie was born (in her mid-30's), but cosmetology was the family business - grandmother, mom, Laurie and one of her sisters.  Her dad said something like "blind leading the blind"... he was trying to figure what he meant by that, and Laurie said, "Well, he was legally blind."  So he was just trying to get that word out there to let her know it was him...  

But this may have all been a blessing for Laurie in another way.  She's having serious issues with vertigo.  I mean, BAD.  When she got here, she called me from her vehicle and asked me to come out and help her in.  She is SO wobbly!  Well, she was telling Kevin about this and he said he used to have really bad vertigo along with migraine headaches.  He said he started doing a 7 minute meditation that is meant to line up your Chakras and after about 45 days, it all went away!  He never had to take medicine for it again.  WOW!  So he sent us both this guided meditation, and he's going to develop one for me specific to weight loss.  

And speaking of which, I reserved a spot at one of the weight-loss group hypnosis sessions for the 13th of this month.  I really, REALLY have to get some of this weight off, and it would help a lot if/when I have hip surgery...

This has been an amazing year for my Hoyas! There have been a few that seemed to be getting a really late start or (I thought) may not grow at all. I got that new variegated hueschkeliana in May and it started to dehydrate. I was so worried about it because it's so pretty. But variegates can be super bitchy and I thought, this is not going to be one I'm going to be able to grow. I took it and put it in the kitchen window because both of my regular hueschkelianas are there and both of them do very very well. Plus it would be in a spot where I could keep a close eye on it, hoping it would rehydrate.  Well, today I noticed the leaves are firmed up again and it's looking spectacular and even has new growth, so I think it's going to be okay. 

I chopped up my biggest macrophylla and put the frog pot out on the back porch with nary a leaf on it. Well guess what? It's sprung forth with all kinds of new foliage! I brought it into the greenhouse for fear that it would get hail damage with this weird year we're having and it seems to be happy as a clam! Not sure where it's final destination will be once fall gets here, but we'll see how it does. I guess maybe it just needed some rejuvenation. It was putting on vines, but no leaves would ever fill in. I just figured that that meant that it was not happy anymore and the roots weren't doing what they're supposed to do. But here it is, with lots of beautiful new growth.

Patcharawalai (aka icensis) is one I got as a cutting in 2021. It's rooted fine for me, but this spring it had me a little worried because it started to dehydrate. I had it in the sunroom for a little while and then I brought it back out to the greenhouse and now it's putting on all kinds of new leaves and the old leaves have firmed back up nicely. I think it's going to be a spectacular species for me. I should add that I got two of this species the same year.  And they look nothing alike!  A little research reveals that there are actually two clones of it that look quite different.  This one is patcharwlai 029, and the other one is 023.  The other one has bloomed and is budding up again, but the leaves are somewhat dehydrated.  I'm trying to figure out what to do to encourage the leaves to fatten back up.  Here is the 029:

Acuta variegated, another one I got this spring, has a new vine coming on it. Patricia is one I got from Kathy in Colorado. I got the first one two years ago. It rooted nicely for me and grew for a while and then suddenly it just collapsed. Last year I got a replacement from her. This one I seem to recall she rooted for me, and it did okay through the winter but then when spring came, it really didn't seem very happy. So I tried to give it some TLC, put it in a nice bright spot that didn't get a lot of direct sun and spritzed it now and then. I just wasn't sure if it was going to make it for me or not, but now it's looking quite good and has a couple of new spots where it's grown. Today I took off a few homely leaves and it's looking pretty nice now.

Blooms are plentiful. It's a good year for obovata. All three of them are in some stage of blooming right now. On the other hand, 'Majic', which is a hybrid of obovata & carnosa and usually a much better bloomer, has not bloomed yet at all this year. My biggest one is outside and the smaller one is in the greenhouse. I'd really like to chop one or the other up and sell cuttings to bring me back to just one. I might make those offerings this fall.

 

Pubicalyx 'Philippean Black' continues to bloom and rambles all over the place. Nicholsoniae is blooming right now. Kerrii (the splashy clone) is also blooming. Pubicorolla 'Black Dragon' is blooming, which is nice since I've been trying to figure out which one is 'Black Dragon' and which one is 'Pink Dragon', now I know.

Elliptica is another one that wasn't doing so hot in early spring. It is suddenly taking off and looks fabulous.

Some people refer to it as the "turtle back" Hoya  because of the leaves...
 

Surigaoensis IML 1693 is of those species with giant shiny leaves Theu seem to grow and grow and grow. I have two of them, and the original one, which is in the spare bedroom, had leaves that were feeling a little wrinkled about a month ago. So I put the whole thing out in the greenhouse and took a couple of cuttings off of it. Well very quickly, it straightened right up and started putting on new growth. I guess maybe this species likes the heat and humidity.. but it blows my mind all the new growth that it's getting. By the time I bring it inside this fall, I may have to find a new spot for it! It's just lovely!

 

One I cut back last fall because it was looking a little tired was aff. clandestina.  I was starting to wonder if it was ever going to start growing, and suddenly it has new vines popping, three of them! So it's looking good now as well. Right next to it is ilagiorum. It looks great, but it really was not growing this spring. Finally, it has one new vine and a dark almost black leaf on it. 

Polystachya has put on a cluster of new growth. And now I see it has another new growth point. It's almost his lovely as my big mac!

 

A couple that continue to be stubborn.. the giant leaf monetteae has not put on any new growth since last year. And the new sigillatis looks like it's trying, but I don't think I've gotten any new leaves yet. There are Vines, there seem to be baby leaves trying to develop, but I don't think any of the leaves that I have right now are new since I've got it. But at least it's hanging in there! 

 

My old pubicalyx 'Pink Silver' seems to be looking pretty good this year. I moved it from its old spot and did a little bit of wacking. Not so much to make cuttings, but just to get some old stuff off of it that wasn't growing. I think it stimulated it a little bit because it seems to be growing some now. Check out these beautiful new leaves!

My vanilla orchid is looking good but still no signs of a flower. Memoria is blooming up a storm! 

 

And the lambii hybrid (EPC-15) is really starting to look awesome! I think that's going to be another spectacular species.

 

My new Cerp[egoa (ampliata) has new growth on it already! Little leaves even. Of course this is the species that does not keep its leaves. It ends up just being a bunch of empty vines that hang straight down. But the flowers are just spectacular. I've grown this species before. I can't remember if I got rid of it because it never has leaves, or if I somehow lost it. But I remember the flowers and boy oh boy are they awesome! I'll have to see if I can dig up a picture of one..

I decided to put inconspicua back in the bathroom. It grew in there for years and did very well, blooming often. Then a couple years ago it just all of a sudden started dropping leaves. There came a point when I took some cuttings and put it in the greenhouse to see how it would do. Last year it stabilized but really didn't grow much. This year it decided to take off growing. So it's looking much healthier and I thought I'd really like to have it back in the bathroom. Fingers crossed that it keeps doing well. So far so good.

Time for supper!

 

My two cents worth...

 ...and maybe that's all it's worth, and maybe I'm the only one that feels this way.  I'm talking about this situation in Turks & Caicos, with FIVE (not one, not a couple, but FIVE) Americans who have been caught with ammo in their luggage down there.  Apparently, before they recently enacted a law that allows the judge discretion on sentencing, it was a mandatory 12 year sentence.  With the first guy caught, everyone was appalled at such a severe sentence for such a minor "crime".  Well, guess what folks?  You were a guest in their country and they have the right to make their laws, they have a right to protect their citizens and tourists as they see fit.  Just because you're an American does not give you special rights in another country.  I get really irritated by privileged Americans who think they can circumvent the law in other countries and there should be no consequences because  they're American.  Who the hell do they think they are?  "Oh, it was just a mistake..."  Yeah, right... would be MY response to that.  Who "accidentally" packs ammo?  "It was left in the bag after a hunting trip."  Five guys, all within a few months, did this?  If I was the judge, I'd make SOMEBODY be an example so this didn't keep happening. (And maybe he will...)  As it is, letting all these guys off the hook just emboldens other people (privileged Americans) to do as they please.  And no, I don't think all five were "a mistake".  I don't know what was really going on, but there is more to this story.  And I heard this morning that the first two that got off the hook are mad at the State Dept. for not intervening.  WTF?  YOU BROKE THE LAW.  When a foreign diplomat breaks the law here, we are appalled that they have immunity.  When a non-citizen breaks the law, we either prosecute or eject them from the country, or both.

And back to other stuff... It's going to hit 100 degrees today... Alexa says 104, my phone says 101.  Heat index will be over 110.  YIKES!  I got up early and did some watering in my GH.  When it's so hot, everything dries out FAST.  I need to be out there every day, poking dirt to see what needs watering.  It evaporates so fast! Even in the house, stuff dries out faster this time of year!  I don't get that so much because the temp is pretty consistent year round.  Must just be the intensity of the sun coming in the windows. 

So much is blooming right now, it's hard to keep up!  H. icensis, one of my more recent acquisitions, has an open umbel:

The coronas aren't nearly as dark as they look in the photo.  In fact, I would say they are mauve - a very nice, soft pink with just a hint of purple to move it from baby pink to mauve.  And they are oh-so drippy!  The plant itself is just a bit dehydrated.  I don't know if that means it really doesn't care for the heat, or if I let it get a little too dry.  I may move it into the house if it doesn't improve soon.

This is a good year for macgillivrayii.  They're all growing like gangbusters!  I put a large branched one on one of the Hoya FB pages for $55, which I thought was an excellent price, with absolutely no bites!  It's a BAD year for selling Hoyas!  I can't get any interest at all, and I notice most other people can't, either.  I'll try putting some of them on the local Hoya page.  I have to figure out how to get rid of the baby plants before fall! 

Also blooming is inconspicua.  This is something to celebrate because it took a turn downward... was it last year or the year before?  I struggled with it all last year and finally moved it to the GH.  It's finally making a comeback and now blooming:

This is a tiny flower - the whole umbel is just a bit larger than a quarter.  When it's at its best, inconspicua is a good bloomer and can have several going at once. It's small leaves and straight-down growth habit make it very desirable!

Also blooming is the subquintuplinervis I got from Kartuz several years ago.  This is a Hoya that always looks like a million bucks!  The leaves, even the old ones, stay looking so beautiful.  It's one that just makes my eyes feel good!  I don't even care if it blooms, and the blooms really are not much to talk about:

 

Don't get me wrong - they're ok, but they aren't as tidy or colorful as some.  I would almost rather it put all of it's energy into more of that beautiful foliage! (Note: I came back to correct the plant name.  This is one that I always have trouble remembering the name.  Since it's one of my favorites, you'd think this wouldn't be a problem.  I think it's that the weird, hard to pronounce name doesn't "fit".  I need to come up with a nickname... maybe Subby??)

My wayetti growing in leca in the north window of my kitchen has been blooming off and on for the last year.  It seems to be very happy where it is.  Don't tell me you can't get blooms in a north window!  

This one is similar to inconspicua in both size and colorm, but the corollas reflect back more forming little bubbles with the corona perched on top.  You can see how drippy this one is, too!

My favorite clone of finlaysonii is budding.  The other clone - I have two of that one - has been blooming, or at least the one growing in leca has been.  I'm not so sure of the other one.  Anyway, this was a hard photo to get because of the angle...

 

Looks like it will be opening in the next couple days.

One of my favorite species (when it grows right!) is fusco-marginata.  The reason I have to qualify my statement is because it often grows long, leafless vines that I have to whack off when it becomes obvious that they will never fill in.  In fact, that is mostly it's default growing habit!  Annoying!  Because when it DOES get a new leaf, it absolutely knocks my socks off!  Here are the two new ones, which is probably all I'll get this year:

The name says it all... "fusco" means "dark" and "marginata" (obviously) means "margins" or "edges".  The dark edges aren't as prominent in lower light, but leaves are large and in charge!  Just gorgeous!  Maybe I'll get lucky this year and get a few more!

And the last one I'm going to talk about today is Ceropegia sandersonii.  I love Ceropegias because they are so succulent and the flowers are absolutely extra-terrestrial in appearance!  So bizarre and beautiful!  Well, I've got one that is about twice as big as most of them which makes it easier to see the detail.  I took several pics from different angles.  I think they've been dubbed "parachute flowers" which seems completely appropriate.  Top:

Side view, looking up into the "canopy"...

More detail in the "canopy"...

 

From above, capturing some of the leaves:

A couple years ago, I was at the regional convention and a vendor had a largish one of these covered with flowers.  I had grown the species in the past but had never gotten flowers.  They had $150 on the plant, which is (of course) ridiculous, so when I came home, I located a vendor and ordered one of these as well as C. radicans.  When they came, I was SO impressed with the size!  Radicans was at least 3' long, and sandersonii was probably at least 18", and they were only $15 each!  And wow, did they both grow fast!  Radicans started blooming right away and had tines when it had a LOT of flowers all at once.  Sandersonii took it's time and didn't bloom until last year, and didn't give me nearly as many flowers.  This year, radicans has yet to bloom (it's on the front porch) and sandersonii is really making a show!  Well, I was inspired to order another species and I got it recently - a rather small one, but they grow fast and I'm confident it will do well for me.

And I'm off to get some watering done.

Venting...

I need to do a little venting. I am editor of the cactus club newsletter - have been since 2007. I think I do a pretty damn good job. I get a lot of compliments, and considering that I don't get much help from members, with the exception of Kathy who used to be editor before me and knows how uncooperative other members are, I come up with 8 pages of content every month. Members should occasionally send along SOMEthing - an article, a suggestion of an article, a website of interest, a photo...they could contribute in so many ways, but I can count the number of times that someone other than Kathy has sent something along to be published. So it's mostly up to me. Oh, and a few years ago, the Des Moines club's editor passed away and they asked if I could make our newsletter a joint newsletter until someone stepped up to take it on. Well, no one ever has, so that pretty much doubled my responsibility. 

Well recently, the CSSA's historian, who is a member of the DM club, has started sending me things to put in the newsletter. Painfully BORING things! The first thing he sent me was a multi-paged "Time Line of CSSA Firsts" which has little quips about people in the past. Just brief facts about people in the past with no bio info that might make it interesting. Like "John Smith was the first club president" - where did he live and president of what club?  It took me nearly a whole year of one page every month to get through the whole thing. Well, he recently sent me a long paragraph about an important figure in the cactus world and some of his memories of him. I was thankful it was ONLY a paragraph, but there was no explanation about who this guys was - it just launched into a comment about him being a Nazi and his interactions with him. I did recognize the name, but had no idea who he was and figured if I, an experienced grower, didn't know who he was, the newbs in the club certainly wouldn't, which makes his ramblings... well, just ramblings. So I prefaced his comments about the guy with a brief bio that I found online. I sent him a copy of the article to get his ok and he came unglued. He did NOT want that bio above his comments. His email was rather nasty, saying things like "Let's get down to the nitty gritty.  Why don't you NOT put anything of my old dead people in your newsletter."  And "You were doing such a nice job before my old history stuff."  He came off sounding like a big narcissistic baby throwing a tantrum.  I can't figure out if he felt the professional bio made his writing sound amateurish (which it kind of dis) or if he's just so egotistical that he thinks HIS account is enough to satisfy the reader.

Anyway, I was rather disgusted by his childish outburst.  He could have been nicer about it, like "I'd rather you just print my comments and leave the bio out."  The man is in his 90s and in hospice (has been for a year) and I guess I shouldn't be too hard on him.  Maybe he's just trying to get his "last hurrah" in, but maybe he could put "being civil and kind" on his bucket list...

******

I started this yesterday (Sunday) just before we left to go to the cactus club meeting in Des Moines.  Before we left, this man's son got a call that he's in the hospital.  (I don't want to mention his name because I don't want anyone to google his name and have my vent come up...)  In spite of this bad experience with him, I wish him well, whatever that may be at this point for him.

And one more thing to vent about before I comment about plants.  Since my mom died, I've made it a point to initiate getting together with my sister every couple weeks.  Merry and I are kind of like oil and water, but we stay away from the subjects that cause trouble and we get along for the most part.  If we weren't sisters, she wouldn't be the kind of person I would seek out as a friend, but we're all that's left of our original family and it was Mom's wish for us to stay connected, so we make it work.  And I do love her kids and grandkids, and Rick is a great guy, so... family is good.  

However, every time we get together, the subject turns to diet and fatness.  I am pretty darn fat and Merry is fit.  And she seems to have a real obsession - not just with staying fit, but like a repulsion to anyone who isn't fit.  She goes on and on about what's working for her (please, I've heard it so many times I could recite it in my sleep!), what I might try ("oh, you should do the intermittent fasting"), how Rick could stand to lose a few more pounds, how fat all of his family is, how they have ALL had surgery and then proceeded to gain it all back... and on and on.  When she takes a breath, I change the subject to something else, but pretty soon, it comes back around. It's to the point that I really don't want to hang out with her.  I can't decide if she's trying to be helpful (it's NOT), if she's insulting me, or if she's just plain insensitive.  Not that I'm easily offended.  I know I'm fat and I'm the first person to use the "f" word about myself.  And I'm not opposed to hearing ideas on how to lose weight.  I figure someday, someone might tell me something that will resonate with me.  But Merry talks about the same thing every single time.  It's not like she's offering anything new.  It almost feels like she's trying to tell me, "Hey, you embarrass me!"  And maybe that IS it.  I remember at Brian's HS graduation, Merry pointed at a girl in Brian's class and said, "Brian dated that girl for awhile."  I said, "Oh, it didn't work out?"  She said, "Well, no and I'm glad 'cuz she's kinda fat and, well, he's such a fit guy."  Um, Merry, fatty sitting right next to you here!  Could you BE a little more insensitive?  (And BTW, that girl had a decent figure, one that might once have been called "curvy".  I would have been proud to have her figure in HS - I looked more like a pre-teen boy with my scrawny ass, narrow hips and tiny boobs!)

Anyway, I'm just sick of the dialogue and I think I'm just going to wait for HER to initiate the next meetup (which she never does) and when she does, I will try in a kidding demeanor tell her, "Ok, but NO diet or fat talk!" See if she gets the message.  If I try to talk about it seriously and directly, she'll get all huffy and deny that she always brings it up.  I think I'll do what I used to do with Mark.  He would get so negative and be such a downer, at one point I told him I'm tired of that kind of talk.  It just brings me down.  So, when the conversation starts to go that way, I'm going to knock on the table, which means "knock it off!" That way I didn't have to say anything that would start a whole argument, leaving me feeling even worse...

So to plants.  Wow.  What a great year for... well, everything!  A few weeks ago, at the Men's Garden Club sale, I bought one of Kathy's String of Hearts (Ceropegia woodii).  It had huge leaves!  Of course, the new leaves are much smaller.  I want to figure out how to get them large again!  Usually less light = larger leaves.  Maybe I need to bring it into the house and put it in the north window in the sunroom...

I

It has such pretty markings!  And this Ceropegia blooms off and on all year long.  But it's a touchy one.  I've grown it several times over the years and it will go along nicely for awhile then suddenly the leaves will start drying and dropping.  It has to be rebooted often.  But it's worth growing...

One of my favorite Hoyas, juannguolana, which I call juann for short because it is one of the few I can not spell without looking up, has been blooming and putting on new growth.  Very weirdly, I might add!  There are 2 new growth points out of which popped new peduncles, one with a double.  Check it out:

I have never seen a peduncle pop out right at the point of new growth!  It must be something this species does sometimes.  It's doing very well.

All of my H. macgillivrayiis are growing like mad.  The mama plants as well as the for sale plants.  I need to get them on FB to get them sold before they get too big...

H. cv. 'Michelle' bloomed recently.  It turned out Marco's (in Florida) and mine were blooming at the same time!  That's unusual.  And the flowers are very short-lived on that species...

And H. obovata has been blooming.  Even the one in the living room is budding up.  Seems to be a good year for my biggest one as it's vining all over the place!

This is a smallish flower compared to most of them, but it was the only one with a good angle for a photo.  I would have had to be a contortionist to get a photo of one of the other bigger ones!

Oh, we got a big hail storm last Thursday evening.  Wow, was it big hail!  But thankfully, it was either softish or just wasn't that dense because it didn't do a lot of damage to my plants.  My car got nailed pretty good - a lot of dimples on the hood.  And OMG, when it was coming down, I was SO sure it was going to break my roof glass in the GH!!  When the big stuff just started to come down I was outside and I heard glass breaking twice, in the distance.  So someone got glass damage.  That put the fear of God in me!  But it held up.

I'd like to go on, but my back and hip have been screaming at me all day.  I sit down and do a little writing until it becomes unbearable. Up and about.  Then back to it.  It's just not working out.  My appointment with Dr. Jana is another 5 weeks away.  My fingers are crossed that he will tell me it's time to replace this right hip.  It's getting close to being as bad as the other one was by the time I had surgery and it sure happened a lot faster this time!  It'll be late fall or winter before I can get it done - he's always booked out at least 3 months...But that will be perfect.  I'm a little ... this time because I'm alone with no one to help.  I think I'll be ok, but I also think if I do need help, I can probably get Laurie, or maybe Amanda or Liane to help me out.  They could all use the money and I'd be happy to pay them to help me because I'd have to pay anyone else... Thankfully, it's a pretty fast recovery so I won't need help for long...